


Purple

by SexualPizzaBox



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Complete, Dyslexia, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, M/M, Moving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2018-10-22 06:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10691808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SexualPizzaBox/pseuds/SexualPizzaBox
Summary: This is a story about how two best friends, despite hardships, come to accept who they are to themselves, and to one-another.Growing up is tough.





	1. The Beginnings of Batowl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SlashPrincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlashPrincess/gifts).



> Hello! And before you ask, no, we haven't finished with Good Night Calls. This was just a side project for me to get into that turned into something bigger. Thank You SlashPrincess for giving me the guts to write it.  
> Like I said, this was going to be a one shot, however, because it is very personal to me I kind of fell too far into it!  
> When I was watching Delirious, I realised he has a lot of 'problems' a lot like myself which stems from having Dyslexia, so I just wanted to write a fan fiction to show that being dyslexic is a actual problem, and not just something people say to get out of shit.  
> Thanks dudes, SexualPizzaBox aka Weetiebel.

Red paint dripped down the leg of the table, mixed with feathers and glitter. Evan dipped his hands into it, smearing it along as the coldness bit beneath his fingernails. He had lost his scissors among the red and was blindly trying to fish them out, not realising they had fallen onto the floor. 

“Evan!” Tyler yelled, coming up behind him. He too was covered in paint which he had plastered onto his now completely ruined clothing. A light pink had found its way into his hair and onto his face. 

“Yes, Ty-Ty?”

“Have you finished? Look what I made!” He smiled goofily, holding up what looked to be a cut out pig mask, painted pink and red, with pompoms placed in random locations. 

“Hey, sweet!” Evan called, grinning back at his best friend. “Look at mine.” He pointed to a different table where his laid on a neat layer of newspaper, setting to dry. 

“Wow Evan, that’s pretty cool, is it a chicken?”

“No! It’s a red owl.”

“Oh.” Tyler chuckled, trying not to wheeze as Evan pouted; his chubby filled cheeks puffing out slightly. “Well, it looks great... I wonder who else is done?”

“Brock is, Brian isn’t, but Brock's helping him and Anthony is helping someone I don’t know…”

“Scotty?”

“Yeah, Scotty I think.” 

Tyler winced a little, staring at Anthony and Scotty who were playing with the black and white paint, turning it to grey. “Maybe we should go make more friends like Anthony is Evan. We don't want to not have any new friends here. Then it'll feel just like kindergarten, but we ain't at kindergarten! We are now at school!”

“But I wanna go back to kindergarten, I hate school and I hate science.” Evan sighed, following Tyler’s view.

“At least this is kinda like silly stuff, I can’t wait to show everyone my mask!” Tyler grinned, waving over to Anthony who had caught him staring. “Let’s go introduce ourselves!”

“Nah, I don’t wanna. Can’t we wait, Ty-Ty?” But Tyler was already walking over towards Anthony and smiling at Scotty. “Okay then…” Evan sat down next to his mask, staring at it. Did it really look like a chicken?

“Hi.”   
Evan spun to see a slightly tanned boy with dark hair and gleaming blue eyes. He had a big smile planted on his face, with a tooth missing from the front. 

“Um, hi there.”

“Nice mask.” The boy said, scrunching up his nose as he tried to make his smile wider. “Is it a birdman?”

“An owl.”

“Batman likes owls.” The boy mumbled to himself but still keeping eye contact. “That’s pretty cool, is that your bestest thing?”

“Yeah.” Evan continued to look up at the boy who was stained in blue. “How about yours?”

“It’s a raccoon!” The other boy sung, lifting it from the table beside him. “I got the black thingies and everything.”

“It looks like a cat gone wrong.” Evan giggled, causing the other boy to frown. 

“No! It’s a raccoon! Why’s everyone sayin’ that!” He exclaimed, looking down at it in wonder about why people saw it as a cat when it was clear as day a raccoon. 

“Why is it blue then?”

“Why is yours red?”

“Because it’s the best colour.” Evan said, playing with a feather that was firmly stuck onto his mask.

“Nu-uh blue is the bestest colour ever to live.” The other boy blurted out loudly, causing some of their classmates to look over. 

“Jonathan, keep your voice down. Have you finished?”

“Yes, Mrs.” The boy said shyly back to the teacher, embarrassed to have been called out.

“Has everyone finished their masks?” She mumbled, watching all the children nod in agreement. “Okay then, let's have a look.”

\---

Brock had showed his off first, it was an eagle with black and white spots like a cow. Secondly, Brian came up, but only when he was holding Brock's hand, showing what appeared to be a robot horse; with hair grips glued along the face to give it the metal look. Anthony came up with Scotty as they had stuck their masks together to make a massive four eyed panda which the teacher didn’t seem too happy with. They only smiled at each other though, making their way back down to their table. 

Then, if Evan remembered correctly, Jonathan came up, stating it was definitely a raccoon and not a cat, but Tyler kept calling it a cat anyway. Tyler came next, showing off his pig with the random pompoms and some kid at the back saying it looked like a dying pig. Then that kid came up, showing off a monkey and saying how no one could state it was a monkey without being racist towards him. 

Again, the teacher was not amused. 

Finally, Evan came up, making up a story about how his owl got hit by a car and that’s why it was red. He could see Jonathan laughing the whole time which filled him with a confidence he had never felt before.

“Okay, is that everyone?” The teacher said. Nobody responded so she assumed so. “Time for a break then, you can all go out and play with them.”

\---

Evan stood high and mighty on the jungle gym wearing his bright red owl mask. “Just call me super owlman!”

“I think it should be batowl.” Jonathan mumbled. Evan hadn’t even seen him sitting next to him, drinking a carton of orange juice. “Why?”

“Because Batman likes owls! You could be his super duper side-person-kick thingy.” He exclaimed. 

Tyler, who Evan normally played with, looked towards him and raised an eyebrow. “Who dis?”

“This is Jonathan, I met him in class. You told me to meet new people.” Evan mumbled, taking his mask off and lowering himself down to sit next to Jonathan. 

“Oh, okay, hi, I’m Tyler.”

“Hi. Just call me Batcoon!” Jonathan laughed strangely, causing Evan to laugh too. 

“You should be the bad guy!”

“What? Why?” He pouted, now causing Tyler to grin.

“Your laugh sounds like a crazy person.” Evan snorted, making Jonathan chuckle lightly. 

Before they could continue, a stranger came over. “Hey, Jo, what you up too? I was looking for you!”

“Just saving the damn world from death and doom.” Jonathan sung, biting hard into a ham sandwich. The other kid laughed before looking around. 

“Hey, where is Luke and Ryan? They said their lesson would be over by now.” 

Jonathan shrugged, now looking towards Evan, who frowned at him. “This is Marcel.” He mumbled, pointing to the stranger. “He’s my bud.”

“Hey, losers!” Someone called from behind Evan, he turned around to see an older boy climbing the wrong way up the jungle gym, and another one walking around tutting. “You’re going to hurt yourself doing that, buddy.”

“Don’t fret, mama, I’ve got this!” The boy climbing jumped down, hitting the floor with a tingling sensation running up his legs. He winced, jumping around like he had pins and needles. 

“Told you.” The one walking towards Marcel said, watching the other as he hobbled in pain. 

“Nah, it’s all good! I’m not hurt.” 

Jonathan laughed, wide eyes looking toward the one hopping around. He thought it was hilarious. 

Evan watched him, amused by the way his face lit up, though Jonathan felt it and spun to meet his eyes. 

“They’re Luke and Ryan. Luke’s the one on the floor.” He laughed again causing Luke to give him a glare. 

“Laugh it up, little man. Luke’s going to get you.” Ryan jeered.

Jonathan screamed in excitement, scaring Evan, and jumped onto the floor, running as Luke got up and started chasing him. 

Tyler stole his spot, looking towards his open lunchbox. “He left it, it’s mine now.”


	2. Don't let me Grow Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High-school years can be a pain.

It was weird how quickly their friendship groups had merged and how time had past so fast. They were all now beginning high school where their friendship group had grown even bigger. The newest people to join them were David, who got to know Brian through their Irish roots, Lui, who came along with David, pretending he wasn’t in their year and saying he was in fact still at primary, and Craig, who Tyler had warmed too quite quickly when they got stuck in detention together for being too loud. 

\---

Evan sat at the lunch table next to Jonathan who was ranting about some test. 

“And I revised for it.” He mumbled, watching Evan’s reaction. “Maybe I am just stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, man.”

“Well, I feel it, carrying around this dumb purple sheet with me, so I can read. I look like a damn tit.”

Evan couldn’t help but laugh as Jonathan waved his arms around, almost hitting someone behind him. “You’re not stupid, but you’re a damn idiot.”

“What the hell’s the difference!” He exclaimed, punching Evan lightly in the arm. 

“Alright, bitch boys.” Tyler said, coming to sit down near the pair. “I like how you didn’t come sit on the table with the rest of us, you fags.”

“Oi,” Evan snapped, “Jonathan was tellin’ me secrets, that you ain’t allowed to hear. It’s about your mama, Ty. Right, Jo?”

“Yeah man, your mama is pretty damn fine.”

“You don’t even know my mom, you asshole.” Tyler growled playfully. “Talking of fag, where the hell is Craig? I was going to copy his homework.” 

Jon snorted, earning him a glare. 

“What?” Tyler asked.

“I was just thinking about your mama.”

“You bitch!” Tyler cried, hitting him hard on the shoulder. Jon whipped back, pulling a face of annoyance. “You deserve that, anyway, catch you, gaywards, later, I’ve gotta find Craig before the bell. And join us when you have stopped making out over here.”

“I’m quite a good kisser, so we are going to be making out for a while, catch you after school?” Evan laughed, slapping Tyler on his back. 

“That’s damn gross. And whatever. See you after school I guess.” And with that Tyler merged into the crowd. 

“I hate him sometimes.”

“Don’t we all.” Evan giggled, looking towards Jon who looked particularly sad as he daydreamed. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

Jonathan looked down at his hand for a second, before looking at his lunch, daring not to make eye contact with Evan. “I really do have a secret I don’t wanna say.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, my parents are divorcing... I’m kinda scared, ya know?” Jonathan looked back down at his hands again, playing with his fingers. “But I don’t wanna seem like a pussy because I know people like, um, Ryan is going through this too, and he’s not complaining.” 

Evan watched him for a bit, the cogs working in his brain. The silence made Jon uneasy. 

“And on top of that I’m like failing everything. And it’s not even hard stuff too. It’s just that this stupid dyslexia messes up all my words and things and then I don’t understand it until I’ve read it like a million-billion times.” 

There was again a strange silence before Evan spoke. “Have you talked to Ryan about it-”

“Yeah, and he said to just let it roll past. He said it will get better but I gotta wait for it or something. I can’t really remember. But he’s a smarty pants anyways so, like, he’ll be okay.”

“Well, you’re smart, just not like this.”

“Well, like what then?” 

Evan could tell Jon was getting frustrated, but he softened it. Breathing out slightly and letting a giggle seep through.

“Maybe I could help you?”

“How?”

“Well I mean, with homework and revision and things? Maybe you can say the answers and I can write? Like a scribe? And I can read stuff to you and put it into ‘Jo language’.” 

Jon stared at him for a moment. “When would we do this?”

“Like every lunch or something? Or maybe you can come over? You free tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, let’s do this then.”

\---

Jonathan had been over to Evan’s house a lot of times in his lifetime. It was big, but cosy, and there was always one of his parents busily rushing around, smiling whenever he entered. 

“Hello, Jon, you staying for dinner tonight?”

“Of course he is, mom.” Evan chuckled, throwing down his school bag onto the sofa. “I’m helping him with homework.”

“Right, that’s what you say every time Evan.” His mother mumbled, darting back into the kitchen.

“But this time I mean it! Don’t I, Jo?”

“Yeah.” Jonathan agreed, also throwing his bag down like it was his own house. 

His mum laughed, “That’s good to hear because I trust you, Jon.”

“At least someone does.” Evan hooted, grinning to his shorter companion next to him. 

“What? People do trust me, I swear it.” 

“Right.” Evan smirked, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. “Grab your bag and come over here.” 

They both picked up their bags and wandered over to the kitchen table, unpacking their homework. 

“So, where do you wanna start?” Evan asked, looking through the amount Jonathan had collected over the last week.

“Science.” He mumbled, looking down at the purple sheet that laid in front of him. It glistened slightly in the sunlight causing him to frown in disgust. “This is so gay… purple is such a stupid colour.”

“No, it’s not.” Evan said, looking towards the sheet. He picked it up, examining it between his fingers. “It’s an awesome colour.”

“Well, you don’t have to stare at it every day of your damn existence of life.”

“Well, no,” He said, now looking through the sheet. “But you have to like it, it’s made up of blue and red. So it must be the coolest colour in the world!” 

Jon blinked, he seemed to be taken aback a little. Evan was right. It was a mix of their favourite colours.

“I guess.”

“I know!” Evan exclaimed, jumping up in excitement. “I know everything, remember.”

“What’s my favourite Teddy called?”

“Teddy.”

“Damn it, you guessed that one.” Jon laughed, reaching out to grab the sheet off of Evan.

“So science it is then.”

\---

Evan read out the questions, trying to get his head around it before saying it again in simpler terms. Not because Del was stupid, but so that Del didn’t have to break it down in his head to get the meaning. Evan did that for him. Jon answered swiftly. His words weren’t complex, but the answer was. It was almost like Evan was unraveling his brain. The words just fell out. 

“Wow, it’s only a 2 marker, you didn’t have to sound so damn clever, Jo.” Evan chuckled, showing him the paper he had read it off. 

Jon furrowed his brows at the paper, then up to Evan. 

“Well, that’s the answer, yeah?”

“Jo, I don’t even know the answer. It’s science, I hate science.” Evan exclaimed, laughing in surprise. He always knew Jon was smart, it was just never shown in the right way.

“I told you.”

“What?”

“You’re a genius.” Jon looked at him in awe. He had never been called clever, let alone a genius; and if he did, it was always sarcastically from Tyler when he did something stupid. 

“Well-” Jonathan mumbled, looking towards the question sheet again, his cheeks getting slightly flushed. “Well, of course I am. I’m a damn genius!” 

Evan snorted, causing Jon to smile wickedly. 

\---

“You’ve got hockey practice tomorrow, Evan, so don’t go to bed too late, guys.”

Jonathan didn’t realise he was sleeping over until Evan had pleaded him to. It was a friday night, so school wasn’t an issue causing him to obviously agree. He loved being at Evan’s house. There was less screaming and shouting and blaming, and no opportunities of him getting into trouble with a pissed off parent. Unless of course Evan and him had done something particularly naughty in the eyes of Evan’s mum. 

“Wanna play some video games?” Evan offered. Jon nodded in agreement, sitting himself onto Evan’s carpeted floor. “I just got Minecraft for the Xbox. I heard everyone’s playing it. I have no idea how to though.” He mumbled, handing Jon a controller. 

“Do you think anyone else has played it? Maybe we can Skype them?”

“Hm, I know Marcel and Tyler have.”

“Well, let’s skype them then!” Jon suggested. They popped open Skype, opening the group chat to ask anyone if they wanted to join them. Nobody replied for a good three minutes causing the pair to start playing it anyway when it loaded up. 

“Wanna build a house together? I think you can do that.”

“HELL, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” Jon screamed a little too loud, causing Evan to jump. 

Evan looked onto Jon’s part of the screen where a massive spider sat a few feet away from him. 

“Ew, it’s a spider.”

“Ew, I hate spiders. Should I kill it?” Jon didn’t listen for Evan’s answer though and went and hit it anyway.

“HELP ME, EVAN, IT’S KILLING ME. Damn it.” Jon cried as the chat popped up in panic, which ended up killing him when he couldn’t fight back. 

Evan started laughing hard, not noticing the spider sprinting towards him. “EVAN, IT’S GOING TO KILL YOU TOO!”  
But Evan was laughing too hard to care. His character exploded items and they spawned next to each other, in the middle of nowhere. 

“God damn it, Evan.” Jon laughed along, falling into him as he lost his breath. 

“I am crying.” Evan mumbled, breathing hard as he laughed. They heard the door open, a concerned mother stood in the doorway.

“I thought you were getting murdered.”

“We were, by a d-d-damn spider!” Jon cried, unable to breathe as he choked out the sentence. 

Evan was the one to fall now, planting his head into the carpet. Evan’s mother frowned, but smiled. They were in hysterics. 

“Well as long as you guys are alright.” She laughed, shutting the door. “I’ll leave you to it.”

\---

“Hm, how about Kat?” 

“Hmm, nah.” Evan murmured into the darkness. He could feel Jon breathing next to him and faintly smell the shampoo he wore. It seemed to change every time. 

“Why not? She’s cute, and she’s got short hair. I love short hair.”

“Hmm, nah, I like Willow.”

“Willow!?” Jon exclaimed a little too loudly. Evan shushed him before continuing, a tiny ‘sorry’ coming from his direction. 

“She’s pretty and she told me she likes hockey.”

“She’s damn lying! She just wants to be your girl for the sake of it. She knows you play.”

“Noooo.”

“Yeah, I swear it.” Jon mumbled, his voice getting louder again in exclamation. “I damn swear it.”

“Okay then.” Evan chuckled, he loved when Jon got all passionate and defensive; and he did not like Willow, at all. 

Willow had gone out with Jon in primary school, breaking his little heart when she left him to be with someone else. He didn’t get too emotional though as they were young anyway and he moved on quite quickly, until he met her again at high school and he held it against her when she asked him out again. He had this complex thing with her, sometimes it was hate, sometimes it was a nothing. Either way, Evan found it hilarious even mentioning her to him.

“You know I’m joking.”

“Damn it! I didn't know you were damn joking!” Jon exclaimed, causing Evan to hush at him; still laughing slightly. “I actually thought you were going - you liked her or something.” 

Evan chuckled, he could feel Jon’s eyes pinning him down and could see the flash of his white smile. “Talking of hockey, wanna come watch tomorrow?”

“Hell yeah.”

\---

Evan skated gracefully across the ice. Jon’s piercing blue eyes following him as he warmed up. 

The puck flew across the ice, smashing into the stick of the opposition who got crashed into by one of Evan’s teammates. Evan moved in as the puck darted between both their feet and sticks. He tapped it lightly, following close behind it before whacking it in calmly into an opening in the goal.

Jon cheered, as well as the parents around him. 

“Evan wants to go all the way with hockey.” Evan’s mum mumbled to Jon. He looked at her frowning. 

“Like how?”

“Well, he told me he wants to be the best hockey player in the world.” She chuckled lightly. 

Jon’s eye’s lit up. 

“He will. He’s damn awesome!” 

“What do you want to do, Jon?” She asked him, smiling kindly, still looking at Evan as he raced around.

Jon looked down, thinking. “I’m not really sure.”

“Well, what do you love?”

"Evan, my friends, my teddies-”

“No, I mean hobby wise?” 

Jon paused again, searching for some kind of answer.

“Games? Video games?”

“Hm, I’m not really sure what you can do with that.” 

Jon frowned at her, confused. What did this have to do with jobs? He was only thirteen, he didn’t have to think about adult stuff already, did he?

He muttered quietly to himself, his eye’s keeping on Evan as the game came to an end. 9:2 to Home, with Evan dominating the puck; like always. He was their star player. 

“Hey man, did you see me out there? I basically killed that guy when I bashed into him!” He laughed, tapping Jon lightly on the shoulder. 

“Yeah! And when you, like, did that thing where you hit it and it goes so far, it’s so damn cool.” Jon replied in excitement making Evan’s face light up too.

Evan’s mother lead them to the car and drove back to their house; Jon and Evan chatting the whole way there. 

\---

“Thank you for staying, Jo!” Evan shouted from the car as he waved Jon off at his front door. A grin appeared on Jon’s face, waving frantically. “And come over again!” Evan’s mum added, she too waving. 

“Thank you for having me! And helping me!” Jon shot back, now unlocking the front door. He didn’t want to go inside, he wanted to stay with Evan still. 

Evan’s car drove off, and Jon watched it form into a dot as it sped down the road. He took a breath in, feeling the cold cool air come through his nostrils. 

He pushed the door open, dreading what he would find inside. Screaming? Crying? Shouting? Or had one of them gone too far and ended up running off or even killing the other one? His brain couldn't take the pressure.

Luckily, the house was silent. Nobody was home. 

He sighed in relief and ran up to his room to find his door handle broken on the floor and his door completely missing. 

“Oh boy.”

\---

“What do you mean your door was gone?” Evan said in concern with Tyler laughing behind him.

“Didn’t like you masturbating in private, ay?” Tyler wheezed, causing Craig and Marcel to chuckle. 

“Yeah, probably.” Evan said almost sarcastically, shooting them all a look. Jon started to laugh though, making Evan look at him in surprise. 

“That’s hilarious, I didn’t even think of that.”

Tyler shot a look back at Evan, raising an eyebrow. 

“So, what actually happened?” Marcel asked, grabbing the back of Jon’s seat for support as the bus bumped over a pothole. 

“I have no clue, they haven’t come home yet.” Jon said calmly. The rest of the gang watched him quietly. Tyler mouthing ‘what the fuck’ to Evan who shrugged. 

“Where are they?”

“I have no damn clue.” Jon was the one to shrug this time. “They’ve done this before. They’re probably both at work.”

“With your door?” Evan asked, causing Craig to snicker. 

“I dunno man, just a thought.” Jon’s piercing blue eyes watched Evan in the seat next to him intensely; not out of fear or sadness, but out of literally not caring. Like he said, they would go out for days working without a note, and come back with a few more pennies towards the divorce, and at this point he didn’t care much for the fuss. 

“Can’t you call them?”

“I don’t have any credit.” Jon whipped out his brick-of-a-phone and swung it around a few time. 

“You can call them from mine.” Ryan said, now pitching into the conversation as he and Luke sat across from them, talking amongst themselves.

“Don’t worry about it.” Jon refused, looking at Luke. Ryan frowned, but Luke tapped him on the shoulder, shaking his head slightly. 

“He’s okay, dude.” Luke mumbled. He had known Jon since he was a baby. He knew that he wouldn’t want to get involved in his parents’ fight. “It’s not his problem.”

Ryan opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it swiftly, remembering how he dealt with his parents’ divorce. He couldn’t blame him for the distancing. 

“Anyway, I wonder where the fuck your door is…”

“Who knows.”

\---

Evan’s skype lit up with Jon’s username.

H2O Delirious: they suold it to some guy at work who need a dor. NOW I DONT HAV A DOR.

Evan giggled to himself, the typical bad typing of Jon making him laugh harder. He had no idea how he could even spell these words out like that. It was creative to say the least. 

VanossGaming: Hahaha, you want to come over to mine? I own doors.

H2O Delirious: Fuck you! And yeh I do want to come over atchally. When?

VanossGaming: Tomorrow? I’ll get us some snacks >:D

H2O Delirious: Awesome, I will start pacing then.

VanossGaming: Pacing? You mean Packing?

H2O Delirious: Watever. 

\---

“No it’s not spelt like that Jo.” Evan mumbled, as he tried to test Jon’s spelling. It wasn’t going very well.

“Then what the hell is it spelt like? It’s bee and cuz. B E E C U Z.”

“No, look, Big Elephants Can’t Always Use Small Exits.”

“What’s that got to do with it?”

“Because it’s spelt B E C A U S E.” 

“Well how the hell am I meant to know that?” Jon said slightly annoyed. He felt like he had missed out on some learning obstacle everyone had overcome apart from him. 

“It sounds like bee and cuz.”

Evan stared at him, trying to understand his thinking process and put it into words, it was harder than he first thought it would be.  
“Well, because different combinations of words form different sounds. Some sound as they’re spelt and some don’t.”

“How am I meant to know that then?” 

Evan shrugged. “I have no idea, I just do it.”

Jon furrowed his brows in frustration. 

“I guess you just learn overtime what they are. Like I know that ‘because’ isn’t spelt like that.” Evan was having trouble trying to explain it to the now-growing-impatience boy. 

“You just want to play some games?”

“Yeah.”

\---

“So hockey, hey?” Jon asked, watching Evan destroy a block. 

“What?”

“Well, your mama said you wanted to do it for like future thing.” Jon mumbled, throwing his hands around to try and explain. 

“Yeah, I’d love to do it as a job. Be the best hockey player ever. You gotta do something you love, ya know?” His eyes sparkled in excitement. He loved the rush ice hockey gave him. It was thrilling. “I wanna do my best, wherever that takes me.”

Jon stared at him, with Evan meeting that gaze. It was intense. It was like he was stripping you back just looking at you, at the real you. The little clock in his head ticking away as he read you. It wasn't scary, at least for Evan. It was Jon. He could never be scared of his best friend, especially since he was bigger. 

“I think you’ll get there.” Jon said, the smile tugging at his cheeks. “You're Evan the almighty batowl for God’s sake, you could do anything.” 

Evan laughed, remembering their infant years together with not a worry in the world. The brightest memories of him spending time with his best friend, playing superheroes. Jon was his sidekick, until they swapped of course. They could take on anything, and anyone. Even Tyler. 

“So, what do you wanna do?” 

Jon stared for a minute, thinking. Again, he didn't know. Shrugging, he went back to looking at the game. “I like games.” He mumbled under his breath. 

“Maybe you could make them? You're very creative.” Evan replied, gasping as he almost fell into lava. 

Jon nodded, only half paying attention. “Hmm, maybe, I haven't really thought about it...”


	3. Lost

Jon didn't know what he wanted to do, and still had no clue three years later. 

It was Evan’s 16th birthday and everyone from their social group was at his house for a party. There was alcohol, but only as much as people could smuggle past their parents. Luke and Ryan had brought most the supplies being older than the others. And they had ordered pizza. 

“Hey, man.” Brock mumbled over the music. It wasn't that loud, but Jon still had to lean in to hear him. 

“Hey.” Jon muttered back, searching his face for the emotions he was portraying. “Where's Brian?” 

“Toilet.” Brock said back, coming to sit next to Jon. “You looked lost in thought over here so I thought I'd say hi whilst I still got the chance.” He laughed lightly, scanning for Brian. He knew he'd want his attention as soon as he got back. 

“I just don't know what to do with my damn life, man.” Jon mumbled, only slightly tipsy. “Ya’ll have awesome dreams and here's me, not even knowing what I wanna do tomorrow.”

Brock bit his lips slightly. Thinking.

“I don't know man, that's for you to decide. Can't really help you there.” 

“Hey, guys.” Ryan cut in. “Do you know where Luke’s has gone? He said he was going to go to the loo and now I've lost his ass.”

“I saw him go to the garden after he found out Brian was in the toilet.” Brock replied. 

Ryan tutted, muttering something under his breath before stepping out into the light breeze to find his friend. 

“I swear they're going out or something.” Brock giggled, poking Jon’s arm. 

He frowned. 

“Says you, who spends every day with your dear Brian.”

“You can't talk, you have Ev-”

“You said my name? You better not be bitching about me.” Brian laughed, setting himself onto Brock's knee. Jon raised an eyebrow.

“Totally platonic.” Brock stated, causing Jon to laugh. 

“Of course; anyway, I'm going to find the birthday boy. I'll leave you queers in peace.”

“Hey!”

 

He got up, scanning for his best friend. He was in the kitchen, talking to his girlfriend about something.

“Hey, man.” Jon mumbled, opening the fridge for another cider. Evan’s relationship didn't help his heart too much as it reminded him of his breakups. 

There was no point in loving people who were just going to break your heart, and that seemed to be everyone in his eyes. Yeah, it was lonely, but it was better than bothering just to get the pieces of you heart replaced and ripped out again.  
He would rather just live without one, or with a mushed beyond recognition heart, then people wouldn't know what it was and wouldn't break it. It was a flawed logic of course, but becoming untouchable was one of his strong points.   
Nobody knew the real him, and nobody would. Maybe apart from Evan. But that seemed to be growing distant and with them growing up, it was forever changing. By this point he had no idea who he was either. 

“Hey, you alright?” Evan asked, his eyes focused on the tanned boy cracking open his can. Jon stared back, his expression blank for a moment, before smiling. 

“Yeah, man, what you guys talking about out here? Brock and Brian's flirting is killing me.” Evan laughed and so did the girl hung to his arm. 

“Are they really that bad?” She asked, giggling and looking towards Evan even though the question was directed at Jon. 

“Yeah- um, C- what's your damn name again?”

“Tylor.” 

“Shit.” Jon mumbled, causing Evan to laugh. 

“At least remember my girl’s name, I've been dating her for a year!”

“Well it took me a good 2 years to learn my own name, let alone other people's!”

Evan laughed harder, with Tylor chuckling just as hard.

“I was just telling her about hockey.” Evan mumbled, looking slightly sheepish. 

Jon knew something was up, he always did. He was just good at reading people.

“Well” He looked at Tylor, who gave Evan a sad look. Jon eyed the both of them up. “What?”

“Can I speak to you in private?” 

Jon raised an eyebrow. It was something really important. He could tell. Dread started to fall over him, he wasn't going to get married or have a kid or something? Right?

Evan took him to his room, closing the door softly behind him. He continued to look at the door knob though, his eyes burning holes into it. 

“What?”

“Jo,” Evan said slowing turning and shutting his eyes. “I'm moving schools. I'm going to an athlete school. I got accepted to play hockey internationally.”

Jon looked at him in confusion, unable to say anything, his breath had caught awkwardly at the back of his throat. 

“This will be the last time you see me before I go. I pack tonight and will be off tomorrow.” 

Jon couldn't move. His best friend was leaving him. His best best friend. The friend that had helped him through his family issues, relationship issues, his dyslexia - how was he going to do homework now? He wasn't going to pass anything. Nothing at all.   
The confidence started to drain from his body. How was he going to live without his best friend at his side? 

He wanted to cry. But he didn't. He looked towards Evan, tears brimming his dark almond eyes. 

Evan was the one to cry. 

“I'm sorry, Jo, I wanted to stay here, but, I mean, I want to go, and we will keep in touch, okay?” He was rambling now, a trait he had caught from Jon. “I'll like talk to you everyday and if you need help, just skype me. I promise I'll always answer, I promise.”

Jon's eyes darted to the ground and his eyes pricked with tears before he felt arms surround him and pull him onto the bed. They sat there for a good hour without a word, Jon just trying to take in his best friend. Remember him. 

“You know, it's funny.” Jon mumbled suddenly, even surprising himself. “I knew you'd get there. I must be a damn psycho.”

“You mean psychic?” Evan started to laugh between tears. The laugh was heavy and desperate, his body vibrating lightly against Jon, who pulled himself closer. “You are a psycho too though, you idiot.”

“Oh whatever, they're the same damn thing.”

“No, they're not!” Evan laughed harder. He didn't want them to be sad. They would see each other again, one day.

Jon chuckled softly into his shoulder. He didn't want this to end, he never even thought that one day they would go their separate ways. He thought they'd always be together. 

“I'm glad.”

“To get rid of me?”

“Yeah.” Jon laughed, before becoming serious again. “No, I am glad you haven't given up on your dream, you're one step closer now, Evan.” 

“It doesn't feel like it.” Evan mumbled. “It feels like I just took a step forward and two steps back. I'm losing my best friend and my girlfriend all in one night.”

“You're not losing us.” Jon replied, pressing his hand to Evans chest. “We’ll be right here.”

Evan watched Jon for a while, still brimming with tears. “That's the gayest shit you've ever said.” He said through sobs, bringing Jon closer again as they started to drift. Jon laughed beneath him, wiping his wet face onto Evans jumper. 

“Let's enjoy tonight Jo.” Evan mumbled into his hair. “Let's remember this for the rest of our lives.”

And Jon did, but not because the party was fun or because Evan put a smile on his face the rest of the night but because he had finally lost him. Evan was gone by the next morning and Jon didn't have a chance to say goodbye apart from the night they had cried away. 

He was lost.

Lost without his best friend.


	4. Waterfall

Jon sat in his room, his door still not been replaced for the last 5 years. This time it was nearing Evan’s birthday without Evan.

Last year he had come down to have a party, but this year he was really busy. He had a workload to do, more so than the public non-specialist schools. It hurt a little, not being able to spend Evan’s birthday with the one person he hadn't seen in a year. 

He missed him, that's the only way he could state it. Evan was out there, doing something amazing with all his talent, and he was here, doing nothing new. 

His grades were going down quicker than he could count. He tried his hardest, revising whenever he could and completing every single bit of homework, but that still wasn’t enough. He was failing as he always had done. Having dyslexia didn’t mean that he was stupid, but it made him feel stupid. He had bad memory, a short attention span, he found he couldn’t put his points across without stuttering or stopping and his reading and writing were awful. It was beyond recognition and he couldn’t pronounce the words put before him. He felt like he couldn’t do anything right, especially at school. The only thing keeping his from going delirious was Skyping Evan and playing games with him. But even that had become a treasure. 

Evan was drifting further away as he met new people and went out more and Jon could feel it. Now they only talked about 5 times a week, maybe not even that, and apparently he and Tylor had broken up for him to get a new girlfriend at his new school. He was like a different person. 

And it hurt.  
The feeling of someone no longer needing you.  
Especially when you needed them. 

He sat in silence, listening to his mother hum an unheard tune as she laid on the sofa downstairs. She was falling just as he was. It was unnerving. 

The confidence he once had was drained. He no longer felt like himself. Was that because of Evan? Or was that him just growing up without an idea of the future? 

H2O Delirious: hey evan, u around? 

Jon waited for a reply. He could feel anxiety tingle in his palms as he reached to check. Nothing for an hour, and then two. 

He had been sat on his bed for two hours without the realisation. Thinking. 

Maybe he hated him?   
Didn't he want to be his friend no more?  
Was he boring?   
Stupid?   
Ugly?   
Why wasn't he replying?   
Was it because he didn't need him?   
Didn't want him?  
Didn't want a special kid clinging to him?

His screen suddenly lit up.

VanossGaming: Hey man, how you doing? 

Jon exhaled through a blurred mind. His thoughts fogged with doubts. Anxiety crushing him. 

H2O Delirious: Good, u?

Of course he was lying, but he didn't need Evan to see him as some loser who was depressed like the rest of the world seemed to be. He felt sorry for the depressed people, being stereotyped as ‘just sad’ as all the teenagers hormones kicked in, and they assumed they were depressed too. 

VanossGaming: good. 

Was that it? Was that the conversation at its end? It couldn't be. Maybe Evan really didn't want to speak to him. Maybe-

VanossGaming is typing…

VanossGaming: I've decided I'm going to come down in the holiday to see you as I'm missing my party and all. We can have one then, okay? But I'll have to be at yours. Is there somehow we can convince your mom? 

Jon stared at the glowing screen a little too long. He wanted to see him. Jon bit his lips, agreeing to the surprise offer. God, he couldn't wait to see him. He really wanted to see him bad. 

VanossGaming: Okay then, mind if I bring the girl with me? 

H2O Delirious: shore, as long as u come down. Do eneething. 

VanossGaming: Awesome, she can't wait to meet the amazing Batcoon.

Jon chuckled at his phone. His heart feeling not so heavy anymore. Why was he even worried? Evan was his best friend and always would be and he loved him for that. 

H2O Delirious: lol tell her likewise owlman

VanossGaming: *Batowl

H2O Delirious: watever chuckenman.

For the first time of the new year they texted for hours like they used to. Planning what they would do. It was like Evan had never left. 

\---

“So he's coming down in the summer holiday then?” Lui mumbled, picking a chip from David's plate.

“Oi, you bitch!” David roared, slapping the chip from Luis hand and it flying into Marcel. It slapped him like a wet fish across the face causing ketchup to scar his cheek. 

“What the actual fuck, you idiot!” He cried even louder than David as he stood up almost causing the whole table to flip.

Lui laughed hard as David screamed, getting Marcel’s strawberry yogurt thrown onto him. He too stood up, soaked in the sticky sweet stuff.

“Way to overreact, you cunt!” David yelled, trying to get the now white stain from his clothing. 

Craig, who hadn't noticed the fight until now, looked over, Tyler following his gaze. 

“Who did you give a BJ too this time, Davey-boy?” Craig hooted, causing Tyler to laugh.

“Yeah you dumb bitch!” He added, starting to wheeze.

Jon joined in with the laugh, this mixed with knowing he'd see Evan shortly made his ribs hurt slightly. 

“You went full black mode on him then.” Scotty laughed, causing Marcel to glare.

“That's racist.”

\---

VanossGaming: Tell them?

H2O Delirious: Of corse I did, today was so funny. Dav throwed a fri at Marcell and he lost his shit and throwed yogat all over Dav. It was funny as fuck. 

VanossGaming: I can't wait to see you idiots again, nothing that retarded has happened here in the two years I've been here and you guys seem to pull one out every week. 

H2O Delirious: wat can I say, we are dam prefeshonals. 

He could almost hear Evan laugh from behind his screen. 

He wanted to see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short one today.


	5. Stupid Smile

Evan got off the plane, scanning the airport as he looked for piercing blue eyes from the crowd.

“Where's he meeting us?” Georgia said, trying to follow her partners eyes, but failing. 

“He said somewhere in here. The guy’s never been very good with detail.” 

This caused Georgia to laugh. Evan had said so much about Jon. So much. She knew how much he wanted her to meet him, and how much he wanted to see him. 

“I think that's him.” Evan said, frowning slightly. 

Jon looked different. 

He was wearing a beanie over short dark hair. His jaw had got more defined and so had his high cheekbones. His eyes were still a piercing blue but were held down by dark bags. His arms were covered in fresh ink that Evan hadn't seen before and he had new piercings. One on his eyebrow, another in the centre just below his bottom lip and a load more ear piercings. 

Basically, he looked fucking hot. 

Jon caught his eye. 

“Hey, Jo, long time no see.” Evan cried, pulling him into a hug before the other had a chance to say anything. He had grown taller too, now he towered above Evan’s height. It was weird. 

“Hey, man!” Jon exclaimed excitedly. It was Jon. It was his best friend. But Evan couldn't help but still feel this tingly nervousness in his stomach. “Everyone's dying to see ya! Oh, and you must be Tylor, I've heard a lot about you.”

“It's Georgia.”

“Shit.” Jon looked sheepishly at her. “That was the last one.”

Evan started to laugh, which didn't look good when Georgia frowned at him. 

“I told you he had a bad memory.”

“No, I don't!”

“Well, for pointless shit you don't, but important things just go in one ear and out the other, I swear!” Evan laughed harder. 

Jon pouted slightly, looking towards Georgia. 

“Sorry…” He mumbled, staring intensely at her. 

She smirked, grinning. “Hey, don't worry about it. At least Evans having a good time.” She punched his arm lightly.

“Anyway, let's find the others. They should be at my house.”

\---

The ride back was strange. They had caught a taxi back to Jon’s and it was a mostly silent one. Evan wasn’t sure what had gotten into the pair that hadn’t seen each other for a year, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. He didn’t have the courage to ask his best friend how he was, about his piercings and tattoos, about school. His bottled excitement was stuck in his gut and he couldn’t force a sound out. Jon was silent too, was he tired? Sad? Evan wasn’t too sure. He had never seen Jon so out of focus from his giggly nature.

Jon sat next to him, his eyes darting towards Evan ever so often almost in encouragement. He didn’t know what to say to Evan either, somehow scared he would stutter his way through even though he knew Evan wouldn’t judge him. It was a weird feeling. He had almost gained enough confidence to speak before the taxi driver stopped, ushering them out onto the street in front of his house.

\---

It was quiet as they entered the house, before Evan heard the muffled laugh of who he guessed was Lui, and then the hush of Tyler and David. It was them. It was all his friends. Yeah, he had made friends who liked him for the quiet side he had. But these guys were different. They knew him. 

“Welcome home!” They all shouted, jumping out from behind Jon's sofa and from his kitchen. Evan started to laugh as David missed his queue, jumping and falling over the sofa. 

“Hey, man!” Tyler sung, bringing his friend into a big hug. He had shot up since last year and now towered above Evan as Jon did. 

The rest hadn't changed at all though. The only differences were that Luke and Ryan had both grown bulky beards, Craig and Marcel had been to the gym and Anthony had new ink just as Jon had. But it was them. 

He greeted each person, one by one in their own unique ways. Some hugs, some high fives and some handshakes, in the ironic way of course. He really did feel at home.

“Why you'll welcoming me home? This isn't even my house.” Evan smirked.

“It might as well have been, you two were always around each other’s.” Tyler pointed out, grinning. This made everyone laugh. It was weird how they all fell back into place again. All but one. 

He could feel Jon staring. He needed to get used to him again. The intense stares were making his spine tingle. Was it different or was he just weak to it after not seeing him?

He turned to catch the blue orbs in his. Jon was laughing along but watching him. He didn't break eye contact as others would if they were caught staring though. He kept it, smirking. 

‘What?’ Evan mouthed, causing Jon to shrug. Only then did he break the stare, his eyes going towards Lui who seemed to be up jumping on his sofa. 

“So Evan, how's life been?” Ryan mumbled over the sound of shitty speakers. 

“Good, man.” 

“So I'm guessing this is the lucky lady then?” Ryan said, catching Georgia's eye. 

Ryan was about Evan’s height, with brown hair and beard, and a freckled face. His eyes seemed to be some sort of hazel mix, which were soft. She could tell he was a charmer just by the eyes. They were beautiful. 

Evan turned his head, almost surprised to see Georgia there. To be perfectly honest, he had become so overwhelmed from the past, he had forgotten she had been by his side. He felt a wave of guilt pour over him. He wasn't normally this ungentlemanly. 

“Yes!” He exclaimed, Ryan raising an eyebrow at his sudden loudness. “It's more like I'm the lucky guy though.” He slipped in subtly causing Georgia to giggle. 

Ryan rolled his eyes, smiling. 

“It's good to have you back.” Ryan stated.

“It's good to be back.” Evan replied, grinning as he watched Ryan's eyes dart to Jon who was talking to Brock and Brian. “How's he been?” Evan asked and Ryan's eyes shot back to him, his lips humming before answering. 

“To be honest with you Evan.” He responded, keeping his eyes on Evan. “Not so good. It's been bad not having you here. He's really felt it the worst.” 

Evan bit his lip, looking at Georgia when she gripped his arm. She looked up to him with an emotion he couldn't quite read.

“How bad?”

Ryan sighed, now looking away and towards Luke who seemed to be coming over. “Well, his mom's in a bad way at the moment. He's trying to look after her as his sister’s left. It's affected his grades and he's convinced he hasn't passed this year as well as the dyslexia. They still haven't given him help for it. You were his only help. I would help him but he said he doesn't want it, so I left it.” Ryan paused for a second as Luke came over, tucking his arm around him. 

“Alright, sugar tits.” Luke laughed, pushing into his friend slightly. Ryan frowned, staring at him. 

“What?” 

“I'm being serious here and you're calling me sugar tits.” Ryan replied, still pressing against him. “I'm talking about Jon.”

“Oh, and how he rejected you?” Luke smirked.

“He rejected you too, you idiot.” 

“Oh yeah.” 

Evan coughed, causing the two to look at him. “Anything else? I need to know this stuff, Ryan. He hasn't asked me for help either or said anything about family shit to me. Why’s he being all secretive?” 

“I don't know. He's locked all of us out since last year.” This time it was Luke to speak. He was now watching Jon. He could feel Ryan's gaze on him though making him smile. 

“You should talk to him.” Ryan stated, watching Luke’s grin grow. 

Evan nodded, looking towards Georgia who frowned. “Could you stay here, G? I really need to-” 

“I get it.” She said smoothly, the voice didn't match her face though as it was still frowning at him. “Go on, I'll stay here with these two handsome gentlemen.”

Evan felt his heart ping slightly. Of course she was joking, but it felt real. “Okay.” He mumbled monotone making his way towards Jon. “Look after her, guys.”

“Sure man.” Luke said, still cuddled up with Ryan who clicked his tongue as Luke put his head on his shoulder. 

\---

Jon could feel the force come up behind him as it brushed his back. Hands came down over his eyes as he stood talking to Brock and Brian about who they thought was the worst teacher at school.

“Guess who.”

He instantly knew it was Evan. His voice was deep and husky as he whispered, hot breath hitting his neck. 

He was so close. 

“Is it… Santa?” Jon joked. He heard Evan huff in disbelief at the childish choice. 

“No! Guess again.” Evan mumbled, his voice just as childish as he verbally made his pout know. Jon's laugh caused his hands to vibrate. He had missed his laugh so much. 

“It's that damn chicken-uh-owlman.”

Evan started to laugh, moving his hands from the other man’s face. He hadn't just missed his laugh, no, he had missed all of him. Every little thing. From his dimpled smile to the silly stuttering. 

“Chickenman! It's batowl, you bitch.”

“I forgot, okay!” Jon exclaimed back, smiling. Evan grinned.

Brock laughed, causing Evan to jump. He had forgotten they were even there. 

“Hey man, can I take this handsome man for a second? I need to interrogate him.” Evan asked. Jon lifted an eyebrow at him, his stupid grin still planted on his face.

“Go for it. I already have a handsome man here.” Brock laughed, bumping into Brian who snorted. 

\---

“What do you want me for, Evan?” Jon now asked seriously when they had gone up stairs into his mom's room; that actually had a door. 

Evan loved the way he said his name. It was endearing. 

“I just wanted to see how you have been.”

“I-”

“Truthfully.” Evan said, turning to stare back at the eyes which were piercing him. Evan could feel his face start to flush as he watched the teeth grind on Jon's abused lip with Jon humming into it slightly.

“Like I always say, it's shit without you here.” Jon sighed, watching Evans eyes soften. He loved the shape of his eyes, the rich brown that was so warm it could light a fire, the crinkles as he smiled and the way they were so kind and caring when they looked at you. There was no intensity about them, they were just soft and calming. 

“You know you should've asked me for help.” 

“Well… I didn't want to disturb you.”

“What? Disturb me? From what?”

Jon paused for a second, his hands curling into each other. 

“Well from like other friends, and like, studying and things. You wouldn't reply for like hours anyway, so I assumed you were busy.”

“Jo, I'm never too busy if you need help. I would have sat down and stopped everything if I knew you needed me. I thought you were busy too.”

“How could I be busy? Doing what?” Jon mumbled, remember the nights he'd let the time tick for hours without realising it as he waited. He didn't know what for. Maybe something that would make him stop thinking? 

Evan shrugged. “You have a life outside of me. I assumed you were out with the gang or something. But they said you have been to yourself.”

“And?” 

“And I don't want you to be. It's bad to keep shit to yourself and to bottle stuff up, Jo. You know it. Tell me what's up.” 

“The sky.” Jon smirked jokingly. Evan didn't laugh though, and gave him such a stern look he actually thought he had pissed him off.

“It's the ceiling actually, get it right, you idiot.” Evan smiled, bumping against Jon's shoulder lightly, causing a giggle from Jon. 

“Alright, alright, the damn ceilin’ then.” Jon muttered, starting to lay back, feet dangling from the bed. 

“Hey, you still haven't answered me seriously. Don't start going to sleep!”

“I'm not,” Jon replied softly, watching Evan join him on his back. “I can still hear you.”

“Then tell me. What is up? What's been wrong? Tell me everything you haven't in the last year.” 

Jon hummed as he thought. Turning his head to see Evan watching him, giving him a small smile. He had missed that smile. 

He exhaled loudly before telling Evan everything he could remember, he found it hard to get into words as he stuttered, his brain not cooperating with him. 

He told him about how he was already behind a year and had made a new friend in class called Bryce who helped him through the day, how his mum was getting worse as she laid in her bedroom for hours without a word, how he hadn't seen his dad this year, how his sister had found dealing with their mum too much and left, how sometimes he'd lay there like his mum and think whether he meant anything, how he got called gay for the purple sheet, and how Tyler and Craig beat the shit out of that guy, how he missed being little again, how he missed having a door and how he missed Evan. God, he had missed Evan. 

Evan laid and listened, with Jon actually at one point stopping to check if he hadn't fallen asleep, he was that quiet. But he was awake, listening to the strain in his friend’s voice, the way he laughed after pain and the way he began to hold himself. He hadn't seen him so hurt before without him unable to do anything. It hurt him too. He was useless. 

“And you know, I really have missed you big, big, big time. Like massive. God I have missed you.” Jon said gently. His eyes darted over to meet Evan’s.

“You have no idea how much I wanted to sit at your old house and play video games with you, whilst eating oreos and milk, and having your dad bring us up more dinner than we could eat! He cooked such awesome shit. And your mum, walking in on us laughing and doing that smiley tutting thing she’d do. And your sis’ calling us to play Mario Kart downstairs with her when she didn't have her own friends over.” Jon mumbled, his voice barely audible over the loud music downstairs. “I just miss you and your family being here.” 

Evan clicked his tongue, coming to sit up but keeping the stare. “Well guess what?”

“What?”

“I haven't missed you at all.” He smirked, Jon hitting him lightly. 

“You bitch, I pour my heart out and you shit all over it.” 

Evan laughed lightly, coming to embrace his friend, inhaling the scent he hadn’t smelt for over a year. 

“Of course I missed you, you idiot.” He whispered deeply causing Jon to shuffle against him. “I really have. I miss your stupid laugh, and remarks, and stuttering, and the way you have to use your hands to explain things, and the way you smile, that sounds so gay, but I do man, and the way you have to laugh at everything and the way you talk to yourself to get motivated before doing something, and just like every retarded thing you do. You just make me laugh so much, and it was so quiet without you, and I never want anything to be so quiet ever again.” Evan exhaled harshly, Jon looking somewhat astonished that Evan had said something so sweet about him. 

“Wow, you should be a damn rapper with those skills.”

“What?!” Evan exclaimed before laughing. There he was, there was his best friend. 

\---

“What you guys doing up here? Making out? Come on Evan, this is your freaking party man!” Tyler remarked as he found the two in the bedroom together. 

Evan huffed, getting up off the bed. He wished he had been making out up here rather than pouring his heart out. It had made him tired. 

Evan led Jon down the stairs as they followed Tyler. They hadn't realised they had been up there for a solid hour. Everyone else was hammered apart from the pair, and Luke who didn't drink. 

“Let's get this party started bitches! I found them upstairs having sex in the bedroom.” Tyler sang making everyone ‘ooo’ in surprise.

Evan tutted. 

“We were talking about shit, you bitch.” He laughed. Tyler was a dick sometimes, but that's why they were friends.

Tyler smirked, looking over to Georgia who looked annoyed. “Chill your tits, women, I'm joking. No finger poppin’ each others asshole's tonight.”

\---  
“Evan, I think I'm going to leave.” She mumbled into his ear. He frowned.

“Why?”

“I don't fit in here, Evan, and it's not like you have any interest in me right now, you didn't even defend me then.”

“He was joking-”

“Why did I even come? I thought this was going to be a nice holiday for the two of us, and just me meeting a couple of your childhood friends who would go quicker than come. But no, they're all over you like some stupid kids. Especially fucking Jon-”

“Oi.” Evan gave her a stern look. “You wanted to come, so I said yes. I didn't invite you to. And they're my friends, I haven't seen them in a year and you're getting on me for being clingy to them and vice versa?” He huffed in annoyance. “Says you who is clinging to me. Go make some friends or something.” 

Evan had never been so bitter in his life. The silent bicker caused only a few turned heads. Only when she stormed off did everyone look over. 

“What's going on?” It was Brock to come over, his face flushed with alcohol. 

“Nothing, she just wanted to go home.”

Brock hummed, looking towards the door. 

“And not come back?”

“Something like that.” Evan shrugged. He whipped out his phone as he tried to call her.

“Georgia, where are you?” 

“Evan, fuck off okay? You know what? Fuck off forever, you stupid cunt. I have had enough of you talking to your friends like they're more to you than I am.” She was crying hard on the other end as the wind crackled the connection and the alcohol slurred her words.

“G, they're my friends. You can't compare them to you.”

“I am and I will. I'm getting the next flight back up country, and delete me off your contracts. I don't want my new boyfriend to think we have anything between us. Bye forever, asshole.” And with that the phone went dead. Evan brought it down slowly and stared at it. What the fuck had just happened? 

Everything had happened so fast.

“Rejected?” 

“More like fucking dumped, jeez.” Evan mumbled, he wasn't sure what he felt.

It hurt. 

“Hey, what's up, w-what’s wrong?” Jon said, coming over with the drink he had grabbed. “Do you want me to get you a drink?”

“He just got dumped.” Brock replied, watching Evan’s face. It didn't show anything and yet Jon seemed to realise something was up. 

“Wanna talk about it, Ev?” Jon asked, lightly touching Evan’s forearm. He shook his head gently before staring at his best friend.  
Without another word he grabbed the drink Jon was holding and within a swig it was gone. 

“Oi bitch, that was mine! I asked you if you wanted one!” Jon exclaimed causing Evan to giggle. 

“It's mine in my belly now, bitch, come get it if you want it!” 

Jon chuckled his high excited giggle which Evan felt like he hadn't heard since they were little. It was hyperactive, like he was ready to start running away from him, like he had done with Luke so many years ago. 

He wasn't going to let one woman ruin a night he wanted to remember as being the best reunion ever.


	6. Sentiment

The night went quickly for Evan. 

He woke up to Jon cuddled into his armpit with his mouth open, dribbling slightly. He looked so little, like back when they use to cuddle up next to each other and it wasn't gay and wasn't weird for them too. He loved those times were they didn't have to worry about anything other than what they felt then. It was peaceful. Now they had so many responsibilities and such that he forgotten what it felt like to relax and not worry about anyone other than himself. 

Evan found himself staring for too long at Jon though. No, something was different, it wasn't just the responsibilities, but the way Jon's jawline and his perfectly assorted face was held, the way his arms had tangled their way around him, how his sleeve tattoo and his piercings only added to the fact he was already a good looking human. Perfect in Evans eyes. Growing up had always scared him and Jon, but nothing could have prepared him for these confusing feelings. 

Evan gingerly moved his arm a little, coming to bring Jon closer. He looked across to see Tyler sleeping across his feet, Brock was next to Jon, hugging Brian as he saved him from falling off, Anthony and Scotty were already on the floor with a space of where they once were on the bed, Lui seemed to be sleeping on Jon's desk chair, David was half in the wardrobe somehow and Craig, Marcel, Ryan and Luke were nowhere to be seen. Luke being sober probably meant that they were somewhere sensible rather than in the cramped bed.

It took a while for them all to wake up. Luke was the first up, knocking lightly on the door frame of the bedroom.  
Evan looked up, he seemed to be the only other one awake. 

“I can't believe you'll cramped in here, there was another bedroom me and Ryan could of shared. That one has a door too.” He whispered, chuckling to himself. 

Evan smiled in agreement, his head hurting like a bitch. 

“You want anything there?” Luke asked, rather amused by the way his brother from another mother was wedged into Evans arms.

“Water please.” 

He heard Luke walk away before laughter erupted from the bathroom causing a few people to stir. Luke came running back in, almost crying. 

“Marcel’s in the fucking bath asleep, scared the complete shit out of me!” 

Evan giggled slightly causing Jon to turn. 

“I thought he was with you and Ryan?”

“No! I guess that's where he's been sleeping all night, freaking idiot.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Tyler mumbled, his eye cracking open slightly. 

“Where's Craig?” Luke whispered now, Evan shrugged. “This is when we find him dead some place. And also, why the hell is David in the wardrobe?” 

Evan chuckled lightly. 

“I actually have no clue.” 

There was a weird silence as they looked over the sea of dead looking teens.

“Water.” Was all Luke said, before turning to leave. 

\---

Evan had gotten up after Luke had given him glass of water. They talked for awhile about random things. 

Evan liked Luke, he had acted like a big brother to him and especially Jon. He loved Jon to bits. 

“What the hell happened last night?” Scotty asked, walking slowly down the stairs.

Luke laughed at his pain. 

“You fucked Anthony.”

“What?!” 

Luke laughed harder, causing Evan to snicker. They had agreed to tell everyone the most outrageous things they could think of, and that was having sex with another person. 

“It's true.” Evan added, taking a glass of water to him. “In Jon's fucking bed too, it was gross.”

“Yeah! We had to pry you from the fucker before any of us could get some sleep.” 

Scotty started to turn red.

“You're lying!” 

“Nu-uh.” Luke mumbled, putting his serious older brother face on. Evan was internally dying of laughter. 

Scotty stood there in shock before shaking his head. This made Luke laugh hard. 

“I know you're fucking lying you dicks.” Scotty frowned, punching Luke’s arm lightly. 

They told Scotty the plan. 

\---

They waited for an hour, talking again about nothing in particular. 

“Where the fuck is Ryan, is he dead?” Luke stated, beginning to climb the stairs. 

A minute later he came down basically dragging the hungover lad by his arm. 

Ryan cursed under his breath, before rubbing his eyes.

“Hey guys.” He yawned. 

“Hey.”

“Anyone seen my glasses?”

“I've got them.” Luke replied, going to his bag and handing them to him. 

“Thanks buddy.” Ryan popped them on. He was good at rocking both the contacts and the glasses, as long as you could still see his beautiful eyes he was a catch. 

“Hey did you know you two fucked last night?” Scotty said a little too excitedly.

Ryan laughed sleepily, looking over to Luke. 

“Oh yeah? Did we now?” He replied sarcastically, brushing Luke slightly. “I remember it being the best sex I've ever had.”

“Stop it you fucker.” Luke mumbled, he knew that wouldn't work on Ryan. He was far too flirtatious to get all red and shy if he had fucked him anyway.

“Yes a fucker is what I am, I'm guessing you must of been the fucked then?” Ryan laughed far too cutely for Luke’s liking. 

“You’re a bitch.” 

This made Ryan laugh harder. 

“Can I play?” 

\---

Tyler was the next to come down. They told him he had fucked Craig, but he was far too stubborn to believe them. Next it was Anthony who got told about the whole Scotty case. He was convinced until he saw Scotty start to laugh. Then it was Lui, who thought the idea of him fucking David in the closet was hilarious and was way too funny to be real. After that it was Jon.

He almost fell down the stairs, tripping over his half-on sock. 

“Alright mister eager!” Luke cried in laughter.

It was about 1pm and Ryan was only now making breakfast with whatever food he could find. It smelt delicious. 

Jon groaned. 

“I am either dying or dead and this is a shitty afterlife.” He yawned, coming to sit next to Evan. 

“Sup man.” Evan mumbled. “Have a good one?”

“I dreamed I was in a weird ass universe where we had all the inside body parts of us on the outside. It was damn weird.”

“What?!” Luke laughed.

“Too much information.” Evan added. “I didn't ask you for a novel.” 

Jon snorted, still a little too light headed to start laughing. 

“Oh,” Tyler butted in, getting up from the sofa. “Did you know you and Evan fucked last night?” 

“What?!”

“Yeah dude, Evan was trying to get over his girlfriend and-” 

“Too soon!” Ryan yelled over the sound of the pan sizzling. 

Evan exhaled loudly, looking over to Ryan and nodding. Ryan smiled, before going back to his cooking. Thank God he had saved him. He didn't feel like he could deal with the whole Georgia thing this morning. He had actually forgotten until Ty had said something.

“Anyway you two just fucked. Totally not for that reason.” Tyler mumbled, annoyed Ryan had ruined his catch. 

“What?” Jon said again, a little less surprised. He raised an eyebrow up at Evan.

“Yeah totally.” Evan said in his sarcastic monotone voice. “We frickle fracked in yo bedroom.”

“Damn without a door? That must of been spicy!” Luke added.

Jon laughed, a little blush still on his face. “Damn that's risky. I bet it was good.”

“Of course it was.” Evan said, feeling he was taking it too far. “Could work a little on flexibility though, I had a HARD time getting there.” 

Evan started to blush, damn why had he said that. He was thinking about it now. An image he could never get rid of in his head. 

“Well I'm sorry! We can't all be perfect hoomans like you, you damn hoodini.” 

This made Evan laugh. Thank God Jon hadn't made it awkward. 

“Anyway…” Tyler mumbled, a little freaked by the flirting the two were doing. He thought he had got use to flirting from Ryan's flirty nature, however this was more innocent. The way they lightly blushed and the nervous teasing. It made him shiver. “Where the fuck is Craig?”

They found him in the garden, sleeping like a log underneath one of the boys cars. 

Marcel woke up about thirty minutes later complaining of being wet and achy and David around an hour later, confused why he was hanging out of a closet. 

Brock and Brian were the last to wake up. Their soft chatting could be heard from the boys downstairs.

\---

“So what do you guys wanna do?” Evan asked knowing some had work later and such. “I'm staying here tonight, right?” 

“If you wanna, it's kind of a shit-hole.”

“It's always a shit-hole.” Evan stated.

“True.”

“Well me and Brian have to go like, now, we have a date with Brian's mom. I agreed to swing by and paint her living room.” Brock mumbled, getting up and helping Brian up. “And I'm helping I guess.” Brian said in annoyance causing Brock to laugh. 

“It's your mom.”

“I can take some of you dudes home in a bit. As Craig knows my car’s outside if anybody wants a lift, but it'll have to be in a sec. I've got work at 4 and it's like half 3 now.” Marcel said, also getting up as he looked around the circle of his friends.

“I'll take you up on the offer dude.” Tyler mumbled. 

Anthony and Scotty looked at each other. “us too”

“And me!” David yelled, Marcel frowned. 

“Man you like live a million miles away I'm not taking you home.” 

“Damn it.” 

“I'll take you home.” Craig muttered, rolling his eyes. “You can come with me a Lui.”

“Woo awesome!”

Jon looked towards the two older boys for their answer. Luke spoke first.

“Well my car’s out front so we’ll go when ever my princess wants too.”

“Aw thank you my dear prince Lukey boy.” Ryan replied, chuckling. “So that should basically be whenever you want us to go Jon.” 

“Okay.” Jon replied. He looked towards Evan who was watching them all leave. 

“How long are you planning on staying?”

“Um, like all holiday basically? I was hoping if you got bored of me I could crash at someone else's for a while.”

Jon laughed. 

“You're damn right you're staying all holiday.” Jon smiled, shuffling slightly. “You gotta make up for the years you've missed with me.”

Evan giggled, looking in his direction. “I will, don't worry.”

\---

The early boys left then and there, and not even an hour later the Craig carpool left, leaving only Jon and Evan, and Ryan and Luke.

“What do you lads wanna do?” Luke asked as Ryan went to the toilet. 

Jon shrugged. “my mama said she'd be back at like 8, so make that about 9-ish to 10-ish so we have load of time.”

“Yeah, we’ll go when ever your mom gets home.” Luke mumbled, before the footsteps of Ryan could be heard.

“How about filling us in on anything interesting that happened last night Luke?” Ryan asked as he jogged back down the stairs, coming to join them all snuggled on the sofa bed. 

“Hmm.” Luke scratched his beard. “Well I'm like 100% sure that Brock and Brian are a thing, Marcel got a little too excited and threw up outside, and Craig stepped in shit whilst he and Tyler ran around wrestling In the garden. Hence why he slept outside. Evan you decided it was a good idea to teach Jon to ice skate by throwing ice everywhere. And Ryan, oh Ryan, I think you sent a dick pic to everyone we know. I'm not even lying this time.”

“Well fuck.” Ryan replied, grabbing his phone from his pocket. 

“FUCK.”

“Told you.” Luke laughed along with Jon. 

“I think I got one.” Jon mumbled, bring up his phone to find Ryan had text him. 

Ryan snatched the phone away from him. 

“Deleted.” He muttered, giving Jon's phone back causing Jon to laugh harder. 

“Oh boy, I wonder who else has seen.”

“MY GRAN APPARENTLY.” 

Luke burst into laughter as Ryan showed him the angry text he had got from his mum. 

“Goddamn it, can I stay at yours tonight luke?”

“Convince me.” 

“Well I didn't send you a picture.” 

“You did, and I caught you in the act too. That double minus points.” 

“Fuuuucckk. I'm dead.” Ryan cried.

Jon was laying into Evan, trying not to wet himself. He hadn't remembered laughing so hard in the last year he had been here. 

“Of course you can stay, I got you bro.”

“Thank God, you lifesaver.”

“Just call me Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Jesus is fucking Christ? I didn't know that. Is that something that also happened last night?” Evan joked making Jon laugh harder, he was laughing so hard nothing was coming out and he was just rolling around as he grasped for air. Evan had missed this so much. He had missed Jon the most though. His laugh alone made him laugh. It was the best feeling ever, laughing at nothing other than someone else's happiness. 

\---

They decided on playing a friendly match of Mario Kart. Evan, of course, being Luigi, Jon as Baby Luigi, Luke as Peach and Ryan as Daisy. 

“YOU DAMN HOOCHIE!” Jon screamed as Ryan bashed him with a red shell as he flew past him into first place, with both Evan and Luke following close behind. “DAMN IT ALL!” 

Evan somehow managed to get first as Luke and Ryan beat eachother up. He jumped up in triumph. 

“Come on Jo, you can do it!” He chanted as he bumped into him lightly. 

“I’ll never do it!” Jon cried back as he raced towards the pair, with Ryan hit by a shell and Luke falling from the side. 

“You will.” Evan whispered, getting closer to his ear. “If you do it I’ll give you a kiss.”

Jon’s head spun to meet his eyes causing his character to crash into the back of a fence, making him loss.

“Oh dear, looks like you won't get one. Did it distract you that much?” Evan began to laugh, forgetting the other two were sat right next to him. 

“No!” Jon exclaimed in panic. “No, of course not. I let ya’ll win! Yeah, yeah…”

“Of course you did.” Luke said, rolling his eyes. 

They suddenly heard the front door go before the familiar face popped around the corner. 

It was Jon's mum. She almost looked identical to him apart from her long hair.

“Hey guys.” She mumbled quietly, carrying what seemed to be a suitcase.

“Why you back so early mama?” Jon asked curious. He knew she had stayed at a friends last night and had told him she’d be back late. 

He jumped up to help her in, as well as Evan who seemed stuck to his side.

“Hey Carol.” Evan smiled, causing her to look up to the unexpected voice.

“Oh! Ev! I haven't seen you ages, how have you been?” The cheery voice she had on didn't seem like her at all. Jon frowned. 

“I'll take that mama, you speak to Evan. I told you he was coming down, didn't I?”

Carol nodded, not really remembering if he had or not. She frowned weirdly at her son and then back over to Evan. He had grown a bit taller and harboured buff shoulders and muscular legs. It was weird to not see him as the round little boy anymore, mind you, she could've said the same about all of Jon's mates, including himself. 

Jon started to take the suitcase, lugging it up the stairs as it was heavier than expected. Evan stared at him for a moment, before looking back down to his best friend's mother, she had changed and not for the better. 

“Hey Jon.” Luke hollered before Jon had made it all the way. “You okay there? If so me and Ryan are gonna head off. Ryan reminded me there's a car show I wanted to watch on TV.” 

Jon laughed, God Luke was a nerd. 

“Yeah I'm good, see you guys some other time.” 

\---

Evan sat in the kitchen with Carol. It was weird. He felt like he hadn't seen her in forever as she was never really here when he was here anyway. “So, how have things been Ev? I've heard a lot about you from Jonathan. He's been real excited about you coming back.”

“Has he now?” Evan chuckled, hearing a light bash upstairs. Jon was too cute. 

“I've been rather busy with my whole hockey thing, I'm just looking for Universities now.” 

“Why don't you go to the one down here? Ryan said it is really good there, especially for whatever he's doing… business is it? I can't remember. And Jon has missed you so much, I think it would be great to have you down here again.” 

Evan stared at her, the sentiment sweet and kind. The thing was, he had been looking at St Yale-field University as it was well equipt in the realm of economics as well as business, but the hockey was limited. He couldn’t decide on whether to go with the head or the heart in his predicament. 

He just needed more time to think it over, hence why the holiday was going to be a long one. 

“Yeah, I might go there.” He mumbled under his breath causing Carol’s face to light up. 

“That would be nice, for all of us.”

Evan frowned, what was Carol saying? He didn’t want to make decisions based on others; okay, maybe he would for Jon though. 

If Jon needed him, he’d do anything


	7. Responsibilities

Jon pushed the case onto his mother's bed. It was weird how heavy her case was. 

He opened the case up to find a shit ton of bottles. 

“For fuck sakes.” He mumbled, getting them out and popping them onto the floor. He took her clothing out and dumped them into her nearly full washing basket making a mental note to go to the laundry place down the road. At the bottom of the suitcase was a load of cleaning products which he also took out and a handful of cash which he placed onto her nightstand. 

His mum was a cleaner, hence her taking his door a few years back. The houses she cleaned being tidier than the one she lived in.   
Jon had questioned her career though after clearing many of her suitcases after she had left them unpacked to find unanswerable things such as stacks of money and skimpy clothing. 

She did what she had to to get by. 

Jon came down with the 5 bottles in his hands and under his arms, his mother glaring at him awkwardly. 

“I'm just putting this in the fridge ma. You don't have to be all wishy washy with me.” Jon stated, keeping eye contact. She smiled weakly back at him before getting up. 

“I’ll leave you guys in peace. Tell me if you need anything Evan.”

He nodded slightly, watching Jon who was watching his mum climb slowly up the stairs, sighing when she was out of sight. 

“She's changed.”

Jon hummed in agreement, turning to face Evan who was leaning on the counter. His muscular arms were wrapped around his chest as he watch Jon’s eyes. It wasn’t a weird awkward silence Evan tended to cause with others, no, Jon was different. 

“I just don’t want to turn out like her, wallowed in self-pity all the damn time with a shit job and a shit house.”

“And you won’t Jo.”

“You don’t know that.” Jon sighed, now coming to cross his arms too. “I’m already failing school. If I don’t start doing something soon I’ll be kicked out.”

“Kicked out? But you work, you’re giving something. It’s not like you’re one of these ungrateful kids that launder money of their parents without a care, who don’t earn what they have.”

Jon huffed, the cogs working in his brain. His voice coming out in a harsh whisper “My ma hates me here.”

“What, why?”

“Because I get angry with her. I don’t feel empathy for her like I use too. I can’t feel empathy for her. I’ve done everything for her. I do all the chores and I even pay the bills when she blows her money on shit she wants and she still doesn’t do anything, she still wants me out the house now I’m 18 so she can sell it and live on people’s couches and fuck them for money. Without me here she can do what she pleases without worrying about her children getting in the way. That’s why my sister moved out. Because mom doesn’t want anything to do with us anymore.”

Evan huffed in annoyance. 

“It’s not your responsibility to deal with this shit Jo, I know now we’re older we have so much to think about, but I don’t think worrying about your financial support and mother's health should be one yet, that’s not fair on you.”

“Life’s unfair.” Jon stated factually, shrugging. “It’s better than being homeless, well, I might be if I don’t pass this year, which I didn’t.”

“Jo. You don’t know that. You’re clever.”

“Not that you know this, but I failed every single test I revised at least 3 hour each for this year. When I took the final year exam I only answered 9 of the 30 questions. Don’t you see Ev? I’m not just saying it like everyone else does. I’m not saying it like a ‘D’ or even an ‘E’ is a fail. I’m saying it as like, not even passing. At all. You know that when you were here I only just scraped past the last few years and since you’ve gone and things of got harder, home and school wise, I can’t even get an ‘F’. So yeah, I’m probably going to end up in prostitution or something.”

Evan cringed, he slid along the counter to stand closer to Jon. Jon frowned at him slightly, but smiled. It was that fake smile that Evan hated. The one he’d do if he was thinking in self-doubt, the smile he’d hide behind whilst his head exploded to insure nobody knew his true emotions, nobody knew him.

“You know I wouldn’t let that happen, right? If your mom kicks you out or you go into some dodgy job just to get some extra cash then you realise I’m going to help out, yeah? I’ll let you share my bedroom or give you money or something. Just promise me you won’t push me away and not tell me.”

Jon bit down hard on his lip, meeting the honey eyes of his best friend. There was no way he was going to drag Evan into his problems. They were his. Evan didn’t need extra responsibility just because he had chosen the wrong friend to be close with. 

“Ev I can’t-can’t promise anything.”

“Why? Jo, you’re my best friend. I want to help you if you’re in trouble.”

“Well, say if I don’t want help though?” 

Evan frown.

“I don’t care if you want it. I’m going to help you for my selfish need of making sure my best friend is going to be okay.”

Jon looked towards the floor, his hands wrapped around one another. He knew there was no way of arguing back. When Evan was set on something, he was going to do it no matter what.

“You can be a stubborn bitch sometimes.” Evan mumbled, playing with a penny left on the counter. “But so can I.” 

Jon snorted, watching Evan spin the coin. 

“I know, thanks.” 

A grin fell onto Evan’s face, meeting Jon’s ocean blue eyes. 

“I know.”

\---

 

They both carried a big bag each down to the launderettes in town. Evan had never been to one before and wondered how Jon even managed to carry of all these clothes by himself. 

“Could you separate them for me?” Jon asked. Evan looked at him in confusion.

“The colours you tit. The blacks from the whites and shit.”

“Oh right.” Evan mumbled, it was weird doing such a domestic thing without some parent nearby. He was still living with his able parents so he had no idea how any of this worked. It wasn't that he was lazy- okay he was a little lazy- but his parents just never asked him or taught him. 

Jon chuckled to himself. It was hilarious watching Evan try to figure out the colours. He was putting them into rainbow formation, and it was adorable. 

“You do realise you can keep the coloured ones together.”

“But you told me to separate them! You can't tell me to do one thing and it not be that.” 

Jon laughed harder. 

“You're such a pampered bitch. Wait till you go to uni, you'll have to learn all this shit.” 

Evan rolled his eyes.

“I might have to take you with me then.”

Jon paused for a second. He wished Evan wasn't joking. He would love to come with him across the country and live with him. But, he still had to finish school. He knew without school he'd turn like his mum, and he really didn't want to get stuck there. He wanted to be just as successful as the rest of his mates, even if it meant it would take him 2 years longer. 

“Wanna go grab something to eat?” 

I was about 6pm, but they were both hungry anyway after not eating much of whatever Ryan had cooked, God's knows what it really was.

Evan nodded as they both walked down towards the McDonald's near the main street. 

They brushed lightly against each other as they talked about, just, stuff. It wasn't anything special. It was normally the ideas that Jon was having and Evan trying to make sense of whatever idea that was, and skits, they loved making skits together from the ideas they'd make up. Yeah, it may have seemed childish to talk about shit like how it would be funny if terminator got hit by a car and died crossing a road somehow. But that’s why they were best friends, because they loved talking about nothing but random ideas and skits. It helped them take their minds off of all the responsibilities they had.

Jon watched Evan eat slowly across from him. He still couldn't get his head around the fact he was here, in front of him, eating the shit out of a double cheeseburger.

“This is so damn weird Evan.” Jon muttered, smiling slightly. The habit had started to come back again. 

“What is?” Evan questioned, trying to catch a falling drip of sauce from his lips and failing.

“You being here, looking like an idiot I swear it.” 

“You know like, what-ever” Evan said, clearly pouting as he put on the childish accent. 

Jon laughed, pointing to his own chin to signal the spill Evan had left. 

He quickly wiped at it, causing Jon to roll his eyes. 

“Let me get it you damn man.” Jon got a tissue from the bag and leaned over the table, dabbing the spot from his chin. “I told you you were a pampered bitch.”

“No.” Evan replied, grinning. “Why would you think that?”

Jon snorted in reply, now biting into his burger. He wanted Evan to never leave him again. 

They went back to the launderettes to grab the clothing and lunged it between them back up the hill and into Jon house.   
They came back to a quiet house as Jon's mum has disappeared back to where ever she spent her paycheck. They dumped the laundry into each room, ready to be put away. 

Evan was about to start unloading it when Jon touched his arm lightly. 

“Let's do it later Ev. We deserve a damn rest.” He laughed, bringing Evan to sit on his bed with him. 

“What do you wanna do to chill off? It's only like 8 and I'm tired as shit.” 

“Hm,” Evan sat in thought, his eyes scanning the tanned face before him. “Do you still play the guitar?”

“Yeah man, do you?”

“Of course. Where is it?”

Jon looked around his room, trying to find any hints of where he had placed it last.

“I think I left it near my push bike, let me get it a second.” 

Jon ran down the stairs, going into the garage where he stored his bike. He couldn't afford a car and even if he could there wasn't any point, he lived close to everything he needed and Luke was always up for giving him a lift places to show off his car.

He found the old thing tucked behind a box to keep it safe.

“Oh dude it looks older than I remember it.” Evan stated as he handed it to him.

“It's cuz I use it so much, it's missing a damn sting too… I've rocked this old boy into its grave. I'm too poor to get a new one. But I'm saving.” He laughed, coming to sit next to Evan who plucked the strings. 

They were all still in tune as Jon had kept it so, but the missing sting was annoying Evan. 

“Just pretend it's there.” Jon mumbled when he saw Evan frown in annoyance. 

“My imagination doesn't stem as far as yours Jo, I like hearing it.”

Jon rolled his eyes, taking the guitar from Evan. He began to play an unfamiliar tune as he made it up on the spot, missing out the C string he no longer had. 

Evan giggled as he watched him play, it was so bad it had Evan almost in tears by the end.

“I know children with better rhythm than you.” 

Jon pouted, glaring. 

“Shut your rolls, tried my hardest, ya know, and it was damn beautiful!”

Evan bashed into him, laughing as he got jabbed by the neck of the guitar. 

“Well this is no use, I wanted to teach you a song but I can't now.” 

Jon huffed, putting his guitar down. It used to be Evan’s before he bought a new one around 6 years ago and Jon never had the heart to get rid of it completely. 

Evan pulled out his phone from his back pocket.

“You know that deep meaningful conversation we had earlier.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean it, you know.”

Jon frowned at him, wondering why he had brought up such a conversation now. He scanned his face, not getting a lot of information before Evan turned to him.

“Black or beige?”

“Excuse me?”

“Black or beige Jonathan. Just pick one.”

“Why?”

“Pick.”

“Black. Why?”

Evan shut his phone off, his grin a cheeky one.

“Someone likes the big D.”

“What do you me... EVAN THAT’S DAMN GROSS.”

Evan started to laugh hard, watching Jon chuckle, his cheeks flushed pink. 

Jon looked so happy, and Evan found himself wanting to do anything to keep that smile planted on his face for the rest of time.


	8. Sleepless night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PRANK'D, it's a Purple page

The boys grabbed a glass of water each a popped it onto Jon's nightstand, getting ready for bed. It was really early, but the pair were knackered from the day. 

“Where do you want me to sleep?”

“Well you can just sleep with me? I mean, we got like 7 people in this bed last night, I think it can take me and you without being too bad. Unless you don't wanna I mean.”

“Nah its cool. You don't mind me sleeping in my boxers though?” 

“No man.” Jon shook his head. “Don't worry about it, I sleep in mine too.” 

Evan started to strip down as Jon went to the bathroom. He came back into find Evan lazily spread in bed, watching him.

“What? Waiting for me to undress are we you damn pervert?” 

“Obviously.” Evan smirked, still not taking his eyes from Jon.

Jon slipped out of his clothing, it was kind of awkward the fact that he could still feel Evans eyes on him. A part of him wanted him to stop, but another part didn't want him too. He felt like he needed to put on some kind of show. 

Evan started to feel somewhat heated as Jon started with his top, showing his strong inked arm and defined back and ended with him pulling down his trousers. As he bent down Evan couldn't help but think about the ass now in his face. It was a fine butt.

“Damn, that bootay though.” Evan exclaimed in his childish voice, leaning over to spank the unexpected Jon. Jon jumped back, frowning as he nearly split the trousers still around his ankles.

“Fuck off you bitch!”

“Or what? You gonna twerk me to death?”

“Don't temp me!” Jon laughed, falling onto Evan who was still under the cover, wrestling him. 

“You know I am stronger than you!” Evan cried, slamming Jon into the uncovered bed. Jon was laughing like a maniac as he got over excited and became giddy. He hadn't felt like such a child in ages. 

“Yeah, but I have legs for days!” Jon replied, wrapping the unsuspecting Evan in his legs and rolling him back around so he was sat on top of him. 

“Yeah but-” Evan’s smirked, un-linking his hands from Jon’s. “I’m not ticklish.”

Shook formed on Jon’s face as he tried to wiggle away, but Evan had already got a firm grip on his wrist, his other hand making it’s way to Jon’s armpit.

“That’s not fair!” Jon cried before he exploded with laughter. “Stop Ev-”

“Nu-huh!” 

“I’m going to die!” Jon was in tears, falling off of the bed as he tried to get away. 

“Oh shit, are you alright?” But Evan already knew the answer. Jon was laughing hard and he laid on the floor, looking up at Evan. It was a high excitable laugh as he found himself in a fit of hysterics. 

Evan smiled, watching Jon laugh was so endearing. 

“I thought I was gonna damn die or somethin-” 

Evans phone suddenly started to ring, cutting off Jon, causing the pair to jump .

Evan stared, stretching across to the nightstand to answer, with Jon watching him from the floor. 

“Hello?”

It was Georgia.

“Look, Evan, I'm really sorry about what I said, and I didn't mean it and I just wanted to tell you so. Please forgive me.”

Evan paused, looking over towards Jon who's eyes were piercing his flesh with worry planted on his pretty little face.

“G, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't of ignored you for my friends. I mean, I still stand by what I said but, it's not your fault. You’re a really sweet girl, and I'm sure you'll find someone better.”

“Ev-”

“G you know this isn't going to work like it used too.”

“I know Evan, I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry for the whole thing, and to break up in a mature manner. I didn't want us to leave on a bad note Ev. I really did love you. It was just we were falling apart already, and I think that made us crack.”

Evan could still feel eyes on him.

“Hey, look, it was amazing whilst it lasted. Have a good life. Night, night Georgie.”

“Night Ev.”

The phone went dead, and so did Evans heart. The girl he had spent the last 2 years with had gone and was never coming back. He had seen them getting married, having children, having a life together but it was broken in just a few ‘night night’s to each other.

It was true that they had been on a bad road, hence why Georgia wanted to come with Evan on his trip. 

Evan had been flirting with other people, and Georgia had been cheating on a few drunken nights out. They were as bad as each other. 

Evan suddenly felt a hand on his back, twisting around his hip. It was going to be okay, Jon was here.

“You wanna talk about it?” Jon muttered, who had come from his laying position on the floor to sit next to Evan on the side of the bed. 

Evan shrugged, he didn't know what to say. He was heartbroken. It was enviable, but it still hurt knowing it was finally over. 

Jon hummed lightly, he couldn't let Evan go to bed now.

“Want me to go to the shop and get a fuck ton of ice-cream?” 

Evan looked towards Jon, he didn't want to cry, but he was anyway. 

“Hey, I didn't know you liked ice-cream that much!” Jon joked, pulling the misty eyed man into his arms. He felt him try and laugh at his joke for it to come out in sobs. 

“It's gonna be okay Ev.” He whispered, rubbing the circles into his back. 

“That's going to be the last goodbye I'll ever give her.” Evan sobbed, rubbing his wet eyes onto Jon's bare skin. 

“I know, but that'll mean you have a chance for another hello.” Jon stated, causing Evan to frown. 

“That made more sense in my head.”

Evan smiled slightly, which was an achievement for Jon. 

“Let's get you some damn good ice cream.”

\---

He felt bad when he left Evan tucked into his covers, on his laptop. He was scared he was going to do something stupid, like message her. 

He was at the shop down the road, with a pair of sweatpants, trainers and a loss top on. He wished he had put some kind of jumper on though, as the air was nippy and the frozen isle gave him goosebumps.

He had told him he'd get a fuck ton of ice-cream, but after doing laundry today he had very little change so he grabbed Evan’s favourite favour, cookie dough, in the shitist brand name and paid. 

Worried, he ran back towards his house, finding Evan to be searching up flats.

“I thought I was going to find you making yourself even more sad.” Jon said, handing Evan the tub and a spoon. 

“Oh I love Little Pops own brand of ice-cream.” Evan said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Jon snorted.

“Well I am a damn psycho- psychic or whatever its called.”

“Psychic.” Evan laughed, it was nice to see him laugh again. 

“So what you doing?” 

Evan hummed, shutting down the page.

“Not a lot, just getting prepared for uni.”

Jon nodded, feeling like he was going to lose Evan again. 

Evan looked towards Jon who was now harbouring a sad expression. 

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Jon said, masking the fact his heart was hurting behind a chipper voice. Evan wasn’t one to buy it though.

“For moving away and everything. For leaving you.”

Jon looked towards Evan, his expression now blank. 

“It’s not your fault Ev, even though I joke that it is. It’s not. You were just following your dream, you were just doing what you love-”

“And leaving what I love. I could of stayed and everything would be better here-”

“Ev, this isn’t your responsibility. I’m not some sensitive bitch who needs ca-”

“But you are Jo. You needed me and I didn’t do anything. How can I be a good friend if I’m not here for you when you’re unhappy.”

“Your problem is that you’re too kind and caring.” Jon mumbled, keeping eye contact with Evan. “You care more about others than you do yourself. I’m the bad friend if I stop you from doing what you want to do just because I can’t learn to be independent.”

“Yeah but that’s not your fault-”

Jon exhaled harshly, cutting off Evan. His eyes trailed down the floor before wandering back up to Evan’s deep eyes. A light smile tinted his face.

“I’m too tired for this shit. Budge over.”

He began to undress again into his boxers with Evan giving him a confused frown, but didn’t push the matter. They were both tired and a full blown argument over what they believed was right without a right answer would be hell.

Jon lifted up the cover and darted under, snuggling up to Evan.

“Ah get away from me, you're freezing!”

“Says the guy who's eating ice-cream.” Jon pointed out.

Evan huffed, letting Jon's cold body parts sit on his for warmth. They bare interaction felt nice as skin touched skin. 

They sat there for a little while, watching music videos and gaming channels. 

“Thanks Jo.”

“For what?” Jon replied sleepily, his head propped up on Evans broad shoulder.

“For making me feel better, and for the ice cream and stuff. You know I do secretly appreciate it. Even if I don't tell you-”

“I know.” Jon responded. “You're my best friend, I'd do anything for you.” 

Evan felt a bit teary again. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him. That they'd do anything for him. 

Evan rested his head on the others and his arm reached around to meet Jon's upper arm. 

“You know I'd do anything for you too.”

“Like move all the way across the country for school? That kind of anything?” Jon whipped sarcastically. 

Evan snorted. 

“Oh, of course you're going to hold it against me for the rest of my life. I see how it is.” 

“Yeah, you're going to have to make up for it big time mister man. I'm going to hold it against you the next time you ask me for ice-cream at 10 o’clock too.”

“Damn, that's brutal.” Evan smirked, bringing the laptop lid down so they were engulfed in darkness. 

They stayed silent, listening to one another's breathing as they rested against each other. 

Jon was the first to move, bringing their heads onto the pillows provided. 

“Night Ev. Have a good sleep, and wake me up if ya feel bad.”

“Mhm, night Jo.”

Evan laid awake thinking for a little while, his body pressed up against Jon's slimmer one. He was still a little bit cold. 

Suddenly, Jon's phone vibrated, the light blinking slightly. 

Evan had been wrong to assume Jon was asleep when Jon reached out for it, reading the text. 

He pressed it up to his ear in a whisper. 

“Ma, it's like midnight… okay, okay, no, pa didn't come here. No, ma he hasn't in a year. I know you're sad, yes, mhmm. Can't you two sort it out yourselves? I'm sleeping.”

Jon suddenly huffed, quietly getting out of bed. Evan heard him walk down the stairs and open a drawer. 

“Ma we literally have like 20 dollars to live off. Yes, I counted all the money left in the stash too. Ma, pa is ages away. No, no you're not going anywhere. Ma!” 

Jon exhaled sharply. Throwing his phone harshly onto the counter when it buzzed as his mum ended the call. 

Jon stood in silence for a second, watching himself frown in the reflection of the dark window. Why did he have to deal with his parents problems? It was theirs, not his. He hated it. It made feel bad when his mum would beg him to contact his dad, and how she missed him. At least he knew what missing someone felt like. That's why it hurt him so much. 

The thing that pissed him off the most was that they both knew that he couldn't get in contact with dad, else she’d miss him more. Yet she kept putting him through the torture until he really didn't care anymore. 

He suddenly heard the stairs creak slightly, causing him to turn around. 

Evan was stood there near the top, faintly embarrassed by the fact he had been caught. 

“I was going to say something.” He encouraged. “But ya know, I didn't know a good time to say it.”

“I didn't realise you were up, did I wake you?”

“Nah man, I was awake anyway.” Evan reassured, now coming down the rest of the stairs. 

Jon looked tired, worn and almost fragile as he stood in the dim light of the dying bulb. Evan had never really seen this side. The side of defeat, loneliness and the overall lack of confidence. It hurt to see him like this. Was this what he was like when Evan was away? 

Evan walked over to him, bringing him into a massive bear hug.

Jon tucked his head into Evan’s neck. Holding tightly. He never wanted Evan to leave him ever again. 

“Want me to get you a fuck ton of ice-cream?”

Jon laughed slightly, bringing his head back up to smile at Evan.

“What, Little Pops own brand?”

It was Evans turn to snicker. 

“Something like that.”


	9. Results

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everybody! Thank you, ya'll for your patience. As most of you probably know, I've had a bit of trouble with my co-author of Good Night Calls, so everything kind of got heavily delayed! But here it is, finally! The next chapter should be out fairly quickly.  
> Thank you again for your support.
> 
>  
> 
> If you'd like to become a patreon and have a few perks: https://www.patreon.com/user?alert=2

Jon sat next to Evan in the back seat of Luke’s car watching the city float by.   
They were on their way towards Jon’s school as it was finally results day.   
Jon had initially indicated he was going to walk to school by himself so that he could read the disappointing news he was expecting without the saddened crowd, however, Evan had insisted on coming, and Luke needed to go shopping with Ryan to decorate the flat they had just bought together, so had convinced Jon to let him drop the pair there. 

They rolled up to the front of the school, and Jon was lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. It was weird, as he knew he had failed anyway, but the anticipation was ruining him from the inside. Maybe he might have got lucky? 

He found his name and was handed the letter with all the numbers. He didn’t want to open it.   
But he was going too.  
They were all waiting.   
He bit his lip, ripping off the top and pulling the sheet from the envelope. 

It was what he had expected. 

“What you’d get?” Luke asked, seeing the unchanged expression on Jon’s face.  
“Well, I got an ‘E’ in PE. I guess that’s something.” He mumbled bluntly. The emptiness he had felt when Evan had been away had started to flood back into him again, and he found himself staring at his own slender hand as it gripped onto the paper.   
“Yeah,” Ryan said, putting on his chipper encouraging tone. “There’s always next year buddy, you’ll get there and-”  
“Yeah,” Jon responded, a fake smile covering his face. “I guess I can just retake again.”  
And that’s where the conversation died down. 

\---

The journey seemed long for Jon as he sat in silence, listening to Ryan and Luke arguing over the colour of the sofa they were buying for the living room. He wasn’t really listening though. 

His heart felt achy, but he didn’t feel like he was going to cry; he never did. He wasn’t much of a crying person, especially in front of people. It was something for him to do privately instead. The idea of making someone else uncomfortable due to not being able to hold a few tears didn’t settle well with him. Especially in front of Evan, he didn’t need Evan seeing how weak he was. 

He stared long and hard out the window, feeling Evan’s eyes burning his flesh. He could feel him trying to get his attention, but it wasn’t working. He didn’t want to talk. Not right now. So he kept his focus on the window, and how the world was moving so quickly beneath him. 

Evan reached out his hand. He could see Jon was hurting but didn’t want to make a big deal out of it in front of Ryan and Luke, who seemed lost in their own world.   
He touched Jon’s leg lightly, thumbing at his thigh. The touch made him look over, finally, with a frown planted on his pretty face and sadness filling his beautiful ocean eyes.   
Instead of saying anything meaningful that could disrupt the conversation in the front, Evan’s hand moved to Jon’s own that was secured between his legs. He poked it, making it come out from its hiding spot. As soon as it moved, he grabbed it, intertwining their fingers with one another. Again, Jon furrowed his brows but didn’t comment or even pull away. The only disagreement was the tensing of his hand within Evan’s. But Evan didn’t mind.

They held hands all the way back

\---

Finally, they got to Jon’s house with the pair jumping out from the car and thanking the duo who had come with them. 

“That’s okay buddy,” Ryan smiled over the rolled down window. “Call me or Luke if you need anything. We’ll probably be down at the shop near Walmart, you know, the blue one. So, yeah. Have a good night guys.”  
Jon nodded in reply, not really feeling like talking. Disappointment was rolling up his sleeves and taking over his body.  
Why was he like this?

They got inside, and Evan placed a hand on his shoulder.   
“Hey, talk to me.”  
But Jon didn't feel like saying a word. Instead, he shrugged him off. He wanted to be alone.   
He started to make his way back up towards his bedroom, the place where he could lay for hours and let his mind get overrun by his thoughts. But Evan stopped him, now holding onto his wrist firmly.   
“Jo.”  
“Ev, please, not right now.”   
“No Jo, look at me.”   
But Jon didn’t have the heart to look up, his eyes watching Evan’s hand which felt heavy on his wrist.   
“Jo. Please look at me.”  
When Jon didn't move, Evan let out a sigh, letting go of his wrist. But instead of just letting him go completely, he followed him to his room. 

Jon flopped onto his bed with Evan joining next to him. Like in the car, he snaked his hand into Jon’s. 

Jon didn’t tense this time.

Evan watched Jon. The face Jon pulled was endearing. His lips were curled, plumbed and his eyes seemed tired, but their rich blue colour hadn't faded in all this time, in fact, Evan couldn't remember them looking so blue as this.   
He could see the faint lines of ageing in his face. His baby fat completely gone, and his eyes hollowing. It was weird to think that they were now 18 and only 18. He felt like he had known Jon for longer. Like in another life maybe.   
Evan rubbed circles with his thumb. He couldn’t remember the last time he had held Jon’s hand like this, maybe back in the primary school days. His hands rougher than the last time, rougher than their youthful days where they didn’t have a care in the world. His hands had aged as he had. 

They stayed silent, Jon staring intensely at the ceiling of his decaying bedroom, the human contact nice against his stone cold skin.   
He felt drained, like the life within him was running away. He didn’t feel like doing anything anymore. He had tried so hard this year- harder than the last- and it still wasn’t good enough.   
He almost forgot Evan was there, not used to the fact someone was there for him in this state of mind he had lost over time. 

“You're a genius, Jo. A genius.”

Jon's eyes darted towards the boy next to him, his face coming to level with Evan’s own.   
It was almost like the staring contests they used to compete in in their younger years, apart from there was something more to it. Something more intense, something like longing harbouring deep within. Jon couldn’t quite put his finger on the expression Evan was pulling, or the look in his eye. But it was something different to anything he had ever experienced. 

“I just- I just feel like such a failure. I've failed the same year twice. Who even does that?” 

“Geniuses apparently,” Evan said in a whisper, watching Jon's soft appearance shift. “You know more than anyone that the system fails. I know you try and I know you're clever yet you don't pass. That's not your fault. It's the old-ass system. So don't be sad Jo. I hate sad Jo.” 

Evan smiled as Jon looked back up. He still didn't look convinced, but he seemed to be trying. 

Evan came closer, now putting his arm around the back of Jon’s neck, letting him rest on it like a pillow. He had turned to face him, laying on it side. Jon didn’t look at him and seemed to be avoiding his eyes; scared he’d get lost in them.   
The mood in the room wasn’t heavy, just quiet, but Evan still felt like he needed to break the ice, needed to get the boy's mind to stop thinking so hard, even for a second. 

“Hey, also, I got you something to celebrate.”

There was a silence as Jon finally met his eyes. He paused for a moment before he began to fake happiness. The smile, the soft eyes, the change of pitch. It may have tricked some, but not Evan. 

“Celebrate the fact I'm a failure?”  
Jon's voice had changed to a joking tone, however, Evan could tell the line of truth beneath. He tutted, rolling his eyes.  
“You're not a failure. It's to celebrate the fact you're awesome in every way possible.”

Jon scoffed. 

Evan sat up. He dropped to the floor, squeezing under Jon's double bed. 

Jon almost laughed at the sight of it. 

Evan had wrapped it up, it was large, covered in starry paper Jon had remembered seeing at the store down the road.   
Evan handed it to him, a shocked expression lingering on Jon's face.   
This was for him? 

“What is it?”  
“You're meant to open it to find out!” Evan Sung, grinning widely.   
Jon tutted, he had no idea what the massive box could possibly hold.   
He watched Evan’s excited face, and suddenly the shit he had been feeling, or rather hadn’t been, faded slightly. 

He felt giddy, as a child would. 

He ripped into the cheap wrapping paper, to find a plain cardboard box; so much for any hints. 

“Did you seriously get me a damn cardboard box? I know my house is shit, but I don’t need a new one just yet.”  
Evan laughed loudly, coming to sit next to his best friend.   
“Aw, but it’s perfect size and everything!” He chuckled along. 

He could still see the sadness in Jon’s eyes, but the smile he wore, just for a little bit, made Evan more than happy. He hated seeing Jon so sad. He was always the happy smiley one out of everyone, so seeing him sad was like turning the world upside down. Evan hated it. 

Jon opened the cardboard box carefully, still unsure of the content. 

He pulled out a brand new guitar. 

It was glossy, harbouring a beautiful ebony body with the soundboard wrapped in a rich white outline which formed a bright ring around the soundhole. 

It was beautiful. 

Jon pulled by its neck, sliding it out of the rectangular box it came in.  
“Holy shit.”  
“Do you like it?” Evan asked, for once not being able to read the expression on the others face. 

“I fucking love it.” But Jon wasn’t looking at the guitar, instead, his baby blue’s laid on Evan’s inquisitive face.

\---

Jon picked at the strings, out of tune from the journey. He let his hand run down the body and neck, feeling the smoothness of the beauty. He was speechless.   
“I should've taken a video of you caressing it, a million views on guitarporn.com right there, baby.”

Jon would have laughed at the joke, but his brain had imploded within his skull. He didn’t know what emotions he was feeling.  
The thing was, this emotion wasn’t aimed at the shock or excitement of his new present, but rather the emotion he was feeling towards Evan.   
Without a word he had got him a new guitar, without a word he had suddenly made his shit world spin; getting him out of the black hole he had been sucked into with his mother. The one that made him think. 

He suddenly didn’t want to think anymore, he wanted to feel. Feel whatever crazy emotion he was feeling in this moment. 

“I can’t believe you have damn-done this.”  
“Well, I have, so tough.”  
Jon grinned hard, harder than he had in a long time. 

He placed the guitar down, and turned, roughly embracing Evan.   
He didn’t want to let go.   
And neither did Evan. 

They hugged into one another for a long time. Jon tucking his head into Evan’s shoulder; despite being the taller one.   
He inhaled heavily, taking in Evan’s scent which he had got used to over the holiday. He was shaken up, and he wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing. 

He knew one thing for sure though. 

He wanted to do something to thank him.


	10. Purple

They spent every waking moment together until the final week of Evan’s stay. 

Jon had started to distance himself so the heartbreak would hurt less. They stopped hugging, cuddling in bed, and all together- contact.

The thing was, Evan had noticed. He had noticed the way Jon would look at him sadly, the way he held back, the way he'd shut down, it was obvious to Evan. 

“Hey Ev, I have a surprise for you.”

“What?”

“I can't tell you, it's a damn surprise.” 

Evan laughed coming to join Jon who was wandering his way out the front door, holding it open for him.  
“What a gentlemen.”  
Jon pulled a face of disagreement, however still held it open for him to pass through. 

Luke sat outside in his truck, along with Ryan who seemed to be on his phone playing some quiz game. Both of them looked up to see the boys coming out of the house. Ryan raising an eyebrow suggestively. 

“Do you think they're dating yet?” Ryan asked with a smirk, causing Luke's eyes to dart over. 

“Says you, you damn flirt.”

“At least I know it when I see it.” Ryan mumbled.  
“They're just mates.”

“mm like you said about Brock and Brian, oh, and how Marcel and that chick were just friends too, and how-”  
“Shut up, I know Jon better than anyone.”

“I wouldn't be too sure, Evan is pretty damn close. A man can change a lot in a few kisses.” Ryan laughed, pouting his lips as he made little kissy noises.   
Luke deflected the kissing attack with a hand to Ryan’s cheek, earning him a high pitched giggle that would normally bring a person to laugh in response. However, Luke had got used to the cute side of Ryan, or so he thought, and responded with a roll of his eyes, greeting the boys as they got into the back.

Luke thought of Ryan’s words. Yeah, Ryan was a flirt, but he was an obvious one and he made sure people knew it. Ryan was the kind of guy who would even flirt when he wasn't even interested in the person or even aware he had made such a suggestive thing. This was different.   
Luke watched them in the back, chatting. Subtleties wasn't really a strong point for him, but as Ryan had pointed it out he started to notice it. The gentle brushes, the way the looked at one another with soft eyes, the smiles that seemed to linger on their face for too long.   
Or maybe he was being over reactive? They were close friends, best friends. They could do that kind of thing without being attracted to one another, right?

 

\---

 

They rolled up at Evans old ice rink.   
Evan frowned when he first saw it.  
Were they taking him ice skating?

Luke and Ryan had stayed in the car as Jon led him indoors. For a Saturday afternoon, it was unusual for there not to be a pep of sound. It was empty.

Jon continued to lead him towards the ice rink in the dark. 

Suddenly, he called out Evans name and the lights flicked on revealing a ‘welcome home’ banner and his old hockey team in gear all holding presents. 

“What the hell is going on?” Evan said in surprise.

“Well, they wanted to see you too.” Jon pointed out. “But they had to beat us and do it in the best way possible.” 

Evan grinned widely, greeting his old hockey team. It had felt like such a long time since he had seen them.  
“Wanna play some hockey?” Matt, their captain suggested. 

“Hell yeah!”

 

\---

 

Jon watched Evan glide along the ice gracefully, just like he did so many years ago. It was like he had never left. 

Evan was wearing a spare kit as they hit the puck around a few time. This was the life. He had missed this, missed it so much. The feel of his team he had grown with supporting his every movement, the shape of the ice rink with the red strips that lined the rims and the eyes, the piercing eyes of his best friend up in the stands, watching his every move. 

The team had to leave an hour later for practice elsewhere, leaving Jon and Evan with a booked out icerink.   
“Come down here Jo,” Evan smirked watching as Jon wondered towards him.

“What?”

“You still remember how to ice skate?” Evan mumbled, raising an eyebrow intuitively. Jon stared for a moment, looking somewhat surprised. 

“No.”

“Yes, you do liar.” Evan rolled his eyes, grabbing a pair of skates size 11 and handing them to Jon. “Try these, we have this all to ourselves, so I'll be the only one to see you fall.”

“That's what I'm scared of.” Jon laughed, tying the shoelaces. “knowing you you'd probably film it too.”   
Evan giggled, helping Jon to his feet as he wobbled. “Of course, that's what mates are for.” 

Jon rolled his eyes in response, shakily making his way to the ice. Evan was holding him tight and he felt safe, the safest he had felt in a long time. He loved the feeling.  
“Wow steady on there,” Evan shouted as Jon's foot made contact with the ice and he started to do the splits involuntarily, grappling onto Evans' arms for support. 

“Forgot it was so damn slippy!”

“How could you forget, it is literally ice.” Evan laughed, holding Jon tightly around the hips as he tried to regain balance.   
Jon seemed to move uncomfortably to the touch, pulling away slightly. 

Evan frowned, bringing him closer as he knew he was stronger, even if he wasn't the taller one now.

“What?” 

“What do you mean, what?” Jon mumbled still pulling away slightly. 

“Why have you suddenly got so cold with me Jo?” 

“I haven't.”

“Don't think I haven't noticed all this distancing you've been doing, what's going on? You're killing me here.” 

“Nothing.”

“You always say nothing!” Evan started to get frustrated. He wanted Jon to tell him. Tell him everything that was going on in that complex mind of his, but he wasn't. Evan could already tell from the face Jon was pulling.   
He wore a frown, a confused frown, with his beanie holding back the hair that would normally cover his conflicting face. He didn't know how to answer. He didn't even know what he was even feeling. He just knew that he didn't want Evan to leave. He didn't want him to leave him alone again. 

“I…” 

“Jo,” Evan whispered, bringing him as close as possible. “Please, just tell me everything that's going on in that genius brain of yours.” 

Jon smirked a little, breathing heavily into Evans shoulder which he had now buried his face into. “I'm not really sure.” Jon started, bring his lips in line with Evans' neck so he could hear his hushed voice better. “I just know that I'm scared, I just want you never to leave ever never ever again. But I know you have a life, you have so much better- you're so much better than me and I wanna be selfish and keep you here forever and ever with me but at the same time I know you wanna be the best hockey-man in the world and I can't stop you from doing that. I just can't face the thought of you going and leaving me all over again. I think my heart will die from killedness.” 

Evan stood in shock as he listened to his best friends announcement, rose red rising in his cheeks. Evan hugged his friend tighter against his chest. He didn't know how to react. He couldn’t say everything would be alright because he knew that leaving Jon alone was a mistake, a massive mistake. All he could do now was stay silent. 

He knew what to do to make Jon happy. 

He had made his choice. 

They hugged until they heard the door go, however, this time Jon didn't move. He stayed there until Evan parted with him as they got ready to go back home. 

He was quiet all the way back and as they got ready to call it a night. It made Evan unnerved. He could tell Jon was thinking hard about things, he could literally see the cogs in his mind working overtime. The thinking was something Jon had picked up whilst Evan was away, and he could tell it wasn't the good type of thinking.

They got into bed. Evan couldn't turn his brain off though as he felt the sharp breathing of the man next to him. A hot flush seemed to fall over him as he became hypersensitive to the touch. He still hadn't got used to Jon, even after the whole holiday they had had together, never leaving each other's side. Every time he spoke to him he felt like he was seeing him for the first time in forever. He wasn't used to the jawline, the cheekbones, the cheeky smile that now made him lose his breath, and the eyes, the way they stared at you, reading you. They were beautiful.

Evan couldn't get used to the other side he had discovered of Jon. 

At the beginning of the holiday Jon was his old self, but nearing the end all of the confidence in his body had seemed to have shifted. He had stopped making stupid remarks, only saying things when needed to be, he had shut himself out from Evan and he started to wear a blank expression Evan couldn't quite put his finger on and Evan hated it. He hated how sad he seemed. 

Suddenly, the sharp breathing next to him started to turn into small sobs. Evan paused for a moment, listening, before coming to embrace the shaking body. He had hardly ever seen Jon cry before, this would be the first time in for ages.

“Hey, Jo, what's wrong?” 

Evan sat up and turned the light on showing the saddest sight he had ever seen.   
Jon was almost curled over himself, crying heavy tears into his hands. The brilliant blue eyes were red and sore with sadness and his hands twitching with anxiety. Evan was normally the crybaby out of the two, so the sight of Jon weeping shocked him.   
He ran his hands over his back and brought him into an embrace. 

“Jo, what is it?” 

“Please don't leave I don't want you to go please.” Jon sobbed. He was shaking in Evans grasp. “I know there are so many better people out there for you and I'm just a worthless piece of shit retard that can't even get past school without fucking up, but I need you okay? Look see I admitted it. I need you else…”

“Else what Jo?”

“else-” Jon choked on his words, fighting with his brain as it forced unnecessary thoughts into his head. He felt like he was being overrun and that his brain was going to explode. “I don't know Ev. I don't know. I just know what-when you're here I don't have voices in my head telling me how worthless I am and-and and-and that nobody likes me and that nobody will ever like me. With you everything is nice because you tell me people like me, you help me with everything, and I feel safe and things and I don't know. I just don't want you to leave, and I know that's selfish and I know…” Jon started to trail off as he got tired. He looked towards Evan who was wearing a sad expression, tears brimming his almond eyes. 

“You're not worthless and you're not just some burden. You're my friend Jo, my best friend. Everyone loves you for your stupid laugh and your silly remarks and your stuttering and your stupid ass hand gestures and your cleverness, God you're clever, and the way you look after us all. You are the most thoughtful person I have ever met. So don't ever think you're a bitch again. Okay, Jo? Can you do that for me?” Evan was crying now, he didn't really know why. The moment had caught up with him and he was finally letting Jon see how amazing he was. Jon had started crying heavy too, holding his best friend tighter. 

“I'm sorry-”

“Don't be sorry you idiot.” 

Jon was smiling into Evans collar, laughing through sobs. 

“Do you remember when we first met and you danced up to me because I was by myself. By the second day, you were friends with everyone but you kept by me anyway. Why? Why me? Before you, I was the quiet boy in the class. You came up and changed me, you made me laugh and feel like I could do it. Like I could do anything.” Evan mumbled, remembering their primary school days. The way Evan looked forward to going into science for once, just because of the thought of seeing his best friend. 

“The thing is Jonathan,” Evan pulled away from their grasp. Bringing his eyes to stare directly into Jon's. “I realised how much missed you whilst being away. It showed me how much I really do need you.”

“What?” 

“You're not the only one who needs someone,” Evan remarked, watching the surprise on Jon's face. 

Evan suddenly got up urgently, strolling up to his suitcase. 

“Here.” 

Evan handed Jon a letter addressed to ‘E.Fong’.

He opened the already opened letter, curiously. 

Evan didn't sit back down though, he went to Jon's desk, and grabbed the purple sheet from the side, handing it to Jon.

“I have to read?” Jon said in annoyance.   
“It'll be worth it.” 

Jon tutted.

“Dear Evan Fong, It is my pl-pleasure to offer you a place, uh, a place at…”

“You stopped?”

“Does that says what I think it says?” Jon asked in excitement. Evan smiled.

“If you think it says St Yale-field University, you'd be right.”

Jon almost jumped up in excitement, the childlike sparkle coming back into his tired eyes.

“w-w-w why didn't you tell me? Are you going? I mean, don’t do it for me like-”

“Jo, have you been listening to a word I have said? I’d do anything for you.” Evan laughed, admiring Jon's massive grin. “Anyway, hockey was only a stupid kids dream, yeah, maybe that was my dream. But dreams change, and... and you’re in this one.”

Jon paused, gripping onto the letter tightly. His mind was stuck. He didn’t know how to comprehend the information he had read and the words the smooth buttered voice was speaking to him. Was Evan staying here? For him? He was even taking a social science as a major. Was he doing a science? for him? A science?

“Hey, also Jo, I was wondering…” Evan muttered, kind of uncharacteristically soft. “You wanna live with me? I mean, here is a shit show, ya know?”

Now Jon was done. He could no longer smile any wider, his brimming tears now replaced with happy ones. He choked as he tried to speak, his tongue to numb to move. 

Unable to say a word, he leaned in instead, showing the only form of gratitude he knew.

 

He kissed him.

 

It was a soft kiss; one you may do to a loved one. However, the breath exhaled upon Evan’s upper lip as Jon’s mouth hovered after, showed the nerves. He lingered, not daring to open his eyes; scared that if he did it would be over, and scared that Evan would want to flee. However, Evan, in fact, took this opportunity to kiss him deeper, causing Jon to faintly sign against his lips in surprise.   
They tugged at each other, trying to get closer as they tangled themselves together. To feel the heat of the other's body, to feel each other's racing heartbeats and the wisps of air that escaped their out of breath lungs'.

They wanted to get lost in one another. 

When they parted, it didn’t feel weird when they looked towards each other. Neither of them was nervous what the other was going to say because they knew. They knew that hidden behind both of their glazed eyes that they did feel something like love. 

 

\--- 

 

A week later Evan had bought the place he was looking at the night he and Georgia officially broke it off. It was a cosy apartment near the university which his parents had bought for him as a starter pack for his university life. 

Evan was serious about moving Jon in as quickly as he could, moving him in the next day. He didn't bring a lot, only some clothes, some old memories and his guitar as well as his push bike he now kept in Evans new boiler cupboard. 

The best thing about it was that everything smelt like Evan, just as his old house did when they would eat messy pizza with their hands as they played for hours on his Xbox, or cuddle in his king size bed on cold winters, or sit and do spelling tests Jon could never complete. It was Evan, and he loved it. 

“So, I have two rooms but like…” Evan muttered, raising a suggestive eyebrow. 

They were stood in the master bedroom together, as Evan gave him a tour. 

“You know I snore.”  
“Yeah, but it’s cute.” Evan sang, collapsing onto the poofy bed. 

“Yeah, but you could sleep through anything, so like, your opinion doesn’t count.”  
“If it doesn’t count then you’ll sleep in here with me?”

Jon thought for a moment before jumping onto Evan harshly. Evan wheezed at the weight, pushing the obstruction off of him and onto the other side. 

“You elbowed me right in the stomach you dickhead!”

“Aw, I thought you wanted to sleep with me though?”

“Well, that’s what couples do, ain’t it? You know, sleep together, eat together, shit together-”  
“I ain’t shitting with you.”  
“Fuck together. Yeah, Jonathan, who’s gonna be fucking who?” Evan rolled over to face him, teasing tone to his voice. He watched Jon turn a crimson colour.

“Shut it, you fuck.”

“Hell yeah, I do!” Evan cackled at the mistake, wrinkling the sheets as he laughed. Jon pouted, but couldn’t help but laugh at his partner in crime and saviour who looked more like a dying seal than any real superhero. 

 

\---

 

“Thank you, by the way, I really need that shit explained.”

“No problem my man, anytime.” There was a weird silence before Bryce spoke again. “Uh, how's the boyfriend…?”

“He’s… good, I think? I haven’t seen him for, like, the hour you’ve been here so he could've died, who knows.”

Bryce giggled, amused by the dark joke.

“It’s just, how do you know dude?”

“What? You’re the one who’s a year above now, you should know.”

“ I mean, into dudes? How do you know?” 

Jon hummed lightly, kind of surprised by the question. The thing was he had never really considered himself to be attracted to dudes, hell, he didn’t even call himself gay, yet he was with Evan, a dude. 

“I have no clue. I mean, I love Evan, because like, he’s Evan…” Jon frowned. “I’m not sure how to make sense of what I just said, to be honest.” 

“Love you too Jo!” Evan screamed from right behind him, causing Bryce and Jon to jump from their seats.

“You gave me a damn- a damn heart attack! How long have you been here?”

“I was on the sofa the whole time you idiot, studying.” Evan laughed. “Also I’m pretty annoyed you weren’t more distressed of the thought of me being dead, thanks a lot.” 

“I was! Wasn’t I Bryce?” 

“Totally,” Bryce replied, rolling his eyes. “Just don’t do any couple stuff in front of me to make up for it.” 

Jon snorted.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Bryce.”

 

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door that caught their attention. The light sound of chatter could be heard from behind it. 

Ryan and Luke stood in the doorway, holding a card, one of many which they had gotten from their friends.

“Happy house living- moving, uh-”

“Housewarming!” Luke helped out. “We got you a gift, as well as one from Brian and Brock. They’re in Turkey right now so like…they couldn’t deliver it. ”

The sofa was now a bundled heap as they all piled on.

Luke passed the one from Brock and Brian first, revealing a beautiful card filled to the brim with condoms and a wrapped gift of lube. Evan nearly wet himself crying and Jon turning a bright red. 

Luke and Ryan’s card contained the contents in detail of the struggles they had of sharing a house together and two cute little mugs.

“We couldn’t find a gay couple pair, so we just nicked a dude one from another pack. Sucks to be the next straight couple to get a lesbian celebratory mug pair.” Luke uttered, giggling at the image of Ryan swapping the cups like an overly-emphasized secret agent. 

“You do realise this is a housewarming party? We ain’t fucking married.” Jon grunted.

“Not yet, anyway.” Evan chimed in, causing a cute giggled from Jon who tried to act mad, but failed.

“Gross,” Bryce mumbled, rolling his eyes again playfully. “That’s my queue to leave before you’ll start having an orgy.”

“We’ll walk you out.” Ryan laughed, the trio getting up towards the door. “We have to go fucking sofa shopping again as Luke here couldn’t decide on the colour, but hated all my suggestions!”

“Ay, they were pretty shit!”

“Fuck you!”

 

\---

 

Evan and Jon held each other as they listened to the sound of their friends walking down the stairs, chatting. 

The purple sheet lay gently near the countless cards and presents they had received, glinting softly in the dying sunlight.

A mix of blue and red. 

 

Purple really was the coolest colour in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for sticking on this ride with me, it really has been a blast to write this as it's close to my heart. Thank you for all your support and lovely comments. It means the world.   
> \- SexualPizzaBox signing off :)


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